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Ding dong.
Oh great. Here we go again.
Goodyear and Learjet are at my door.
I'll just hide behind the coat rack and hope they don't see me.
It's so irritating, they always come over, hog my couch and do lines of blow while popping prescription pills.
What the hell is going on?
Precisely.
The estate of DJ AM (Adam Goldstein) is suing the charter company and Goodyear tires for "ultimately" causing his death.
In 2008, Goldstein and musician Travis Barker were the two sole survivors of a fiery private plane crash.
In August, Goldstein died of an "accidental overdose."
The estate is claiming the trauma from the crash "forced" Goldstein to abuse prescription drugs to deal with the burns and trauma.
Yes, his death was gloomy and shocking -- but, estate, don't you remember he battled a drug addiction?
Following suit, perhaps in 2013, Ryan O'Neill can sue the estate of Farrah Fawcett for his future meth addiction, as he was left out of her will.
Seriously. This "ultimately" depressed him and led him down a path of inhaling jet fuel.
Hold please. I have to go sue a panic attack for my binge drinking.
Blame it on the heels
Dear Stilettos,
No matter how much I drink tonight, it is you who are responsible for my actions.
Yours truly, Stephanie Pratt.
"The Hills" star pleaded not guilty to a DUI charge Friday, blaming her failed field sobriety test on driving in four-inch heels.
Um, dear, the field sobriety test doesn't involve your car.
Also, maybe it wasn't a top-notch idea to claim sobriety and then tell the press about your (literal) sobering experience in jail.
"The first four hours of jail my head was down, I was hunched over telling the cops 'You don't know what this is doing to me. My parents are just going to freak out.' I felt awful and I was sobering up," Pratt said to Fox News Pop Tarts.
Don't worry, it's our little secret. The judge doesn't go on the Internet.
Speaking of a-holes
While Heidi and Spencer Pratt were out promoting their new book, "How to be Famous: Our Guide to Looking the Part, Playing the Press, and Becoming a Tabloid Fixture," Heidi revealed that the couple are ready to give the world an in-depth look into their everyday lives with their own reality show.
Hold me.
Whoever can find the most things wrong with that sentence, come find me (I'll most likely be under my desk in the fetal position) and I'll give you a shiny quarter.
Quote of the week
"In prison -- I went to prison by the way -- I took pottery because that's one of the things that keeps you busy at night," Martha Stewart told Rachel Ray.
You mean your bitch didn't keep you occupied? Uh.
When I go to prison I want to learn how to scrapbook so I can capture all the sweet memories.
