Christy Fantz
Christy Fantz

Angelina Jolie and her Virgin Mary scarf made a surprise visit to Lebanon, hugging the sick, visiting Syrian children and curing lepers.

Meanwhile, Robin Thicke and Paula Patton split. Rags are speculating that it began in 2010 when they allegedly had a problem balancing their lives after she spit out a kid. Also, they're both at their respective career peaks and tough work schedules apparently is also causing major problems. (Who is she again...?)

Then, there have been the cheating rumors, shooting videos with naked girls, twerking with Miley and groping broads at nightclubs.

Oh, and they were high school sweethearts. Like that shit lasts.

Um. I mean. Fingers crossed for all you teen-crossed lovers.

The main reason, though, is that Patton was tired of banging a dude who looks exactly like that dad on "Growing Pains."

Show me that smile again, show me that smile, don't waste another minute on your crying...

Headline of the weak

This was on "Watch a Woman Get Hit in the Face by a Whale's Tail."

Um. Alright.

Like a real whale's tail? Or a thong, thong, thong, thong?

It was filed under "pets," so the marine mammal, I guess.

Unless it's a "Jersey Shore" thong, then also file that one under "hairy pets." (I'm still talking.)

I'm terrified of underwater creatures, so I guess we'll never know.

Random odd news

A broad gave birth in the middle of a crosswalk in New York City Monday after failed attempts at catching a taxi, while many pedestrians stopped to take pictures.

That's special and all, but now her baby crowning is gracing social media like Paris Hilton's labia.

Oh. That's just Taco Bell's new waffle taco.

Silly spelling, rehab isn't for cheaters

Tori Spelling's husband Dean McDermott allegedly went to rehab in December because he was supposedly cheating on her.

Rehab is for the unfortunate souls who are dealt interventions in life.* The curb is for cheaters.

Apparently Dean, who was promoting "Chopped Canada" in Toronto, hung out with a friend of a friend, Emily Goodhand, 28, and ended up plowing her in his hotel room (twice) in early December, Goodhand told Us Weekly magazine.

Goodhand said McDermott claimed his wife won't sleep with him.

Dean, she's probably terrified you're going to knock her up again. The couple, parents to four seeds — all under 6 — have noted in the past to Entertainment Tonight that they can't afford a vasectomy.

"It's no mystery why I have money problems. I grew up rich beyond anyone's dreams. Even when I try to embrace a simpler lifestyle, I can't seem to let go of my expensive tastes," reads an excerpt from her latest memoir, "Spelling It Like It Is."

As the heir to Aaron Spelling, that broad sure got worked in the will department. Maybe she can trade in her botched boob job for ... a ... um ... Lotto ticket?

Or just save the cash for Nickelback's new album.

*Hey hate mail, shhhhh

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