The U.S. is feeling the wrath of Dennis Rodman's bestie.

Popcorn yourselves.

New film "The Interview" stars (other) besties Seth Rogen and James Franco as assassins in journalists' clothing. Their task is to kill Kim Jong-Un. (Film due out Oct. 14.)

Oooh, girl. Kim is piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissed.

North Korea called it an "act of terror" and asked the U.S. administration to ban the film.

"The act of making and screening such a movie that portrays the attack on our top leadership... is a most wanton act of terror and act of war, and is absolutely intolerable," a foreign ministry official said.

Mmm. (Wanton, Fantz, not a Chinese dumpling, jackass.)

Jong-Un swears "merciless" retaliation. (Pillow fight!)

Paris Hilton comes with a shitload of baggage.
Paris Hilton comes with a shitload of baggage. (Frederick M. Brown / Getty)

Seth Rogen tweeted that he hopes the leader likes the movie. Then Dennis rocked Kim to sleep with "Love You Forever."

Then I cried, because that book is sad as shit.

DJ Heiress

Paris Hilton went to the Electric Daisy Carnival in Las Vegas over the weekend.

Her baggage, as photographed at a California airport, was at least 20 pieces. The heiress herself was snapped pushing four suitcases, a box, two dogs and a ferret, on one of those Smarte Carte thingys. All by herself!

Gold star.

But, the gold star was canceled out by her reported transportation around Vegas for the weekend: a helicopter.

The 33-year-old is an aspiring DJ now. High five. We look forward to your album of other artists' albums' of old mashups' lawsuits.


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Sounds like your hotly anticipated effort will set the blogosphere alight with electro-fuelled raucousness, and cue other overused music descriptors.

Hand claps and finger snaps.

What makes us click

I almost (almost) clicked on "The 8 Craziest Moments from Howard Stern's 60th Birthday Bash."

Then I came out of a Sudafed space and stuck my fork in an electric socket. It probably would have made me click eight separate times for Howard Stern moments.

Christy Fantz
Christy Fantz (Christy Fantz)

I see your "cleverness," website, and I fold.

Cheap ploys get the click. (Fill in the blank) "and you'll never believe what happened next..." And quizzes, because we're narcissistic. (And by "we," I mean you. And by narcissistic, I mean annoying.)

However, I can guarantee you that not one moment of Stern's 60th party was "crazy," thus rendering it unclickable. In your fucking face, omg.yahoo.com.

Hey look! There's a new BuzzFeed quiz. As an intimate lover, I'm the left plant from the "Between Two Ferns" set: fluffy, thirsty and green. omfg, lol, wtf, fml, hashtag. So true. So shared.

Skin off JWoww's back

A knocked-up JWoww and her pet Oompa Loompa.
A knocked-up JWoww and her pet Oompa Loompa. (Charles Sykes / Invision)

JWoww is about to squeeze out a baby. The "Jersey Shore" star revealed that she has developed sciatica (pain and tingling in the leg) during her third trimester.

Instead of taking Tylenol ("I like to avoid it all cost," she said), she used an ice pack that eventually gave her frostbite, which in turn ripped skin off her back.

Giving a "Jersey Shore" guidette a solution is like letting a toddler play with a paring knife.

 

 

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