The beginning of September marks fall weather, pumpkin-spiced everything, the end of baseball season (in Colorado, who cares?) the beginning of football season (in Colorado, everyone cares) — and the weeks counting down to Riot Fest.
In the festival's second year in Colorado, here are the three types of people festival-goers can expect to see:
No, this isn't a Lana Del Rey concert, and neither Bassnectar nor Pretty Lights will be making an appearance at Riot Fest, but Flowers-in-her-hair Girl is bound to be at the festival, straight out of an H&M catalogue.
She'll be joined by a group of friends, dressed almost completely similar. This attendee loves taking pictures, but none of which are of the actual stage. The middle of a band's set signifies the perfect moment for a selfie, a group photo, or both. This particular fan has probably been drunk since 10 a.m. and probably can't name a more than one act on the bill. But, she shows up anyway to party... and take photos.
Let her do so, her BFFs need something to comment on and/or like on Instagram.
Complete with black-bro tank, gym shorts, backwards hat and neon-colored sunglasses, the Hardcore Kid showed up to see the festival's "hardcore" acts, like Bring Me The Horizon and A Day To Remember.
When you see his shirt that reads "Of Mice & Men," don't be fooled — he knows nothing about George and Lenny. He still has at least one more year of high school before he understands where his favorite metal band's name even originated. He will be rowdy, loud, asking for cigarettes and constantly making out with his girlfriend (who awkwardly resembles Justin Beiber's evil female twin).
You'll probably want to punch him, but let him have fun — even when he knocks the beer out of your hand. Haven't we all been dropped off to concerts by mom in a minivan before?
Throwback Ted is losing the majority of his hair, and has a free night away from the wife and kids to go see a band just as old, if not older, than himself. He'll meet up with the "crew" from high school or college.
He is probably adorning an old band shirt, the likes of Weezer, Primus, or Social Distortion. In an attempt to relive his childhood, he will show up later in the day to avoid the crappy bands. When he does arrive, he will have already have pre-gamed in the parking lot and smoked his first joint in a decade. He will be incredibly talkative and make sure to let everyone know that he is there to see one (and only one) band — the only one worth seeing. He will criticize the rest of the lineup, and will reiterate that nobody else is as good as the band he came to see.
Just as we should allow Hardcore Kid to create memories, let's allow Throwback Ted to relive them, no matter how out of place he may be.
Riot Fest is Sept. 19-21 at Sports Authority Field at Mile High in Denver; riotfest.org.