A s much as we yearn to spoon our homeless buddies, sometimes that slobbery, toothless smack on the cheek will linger until scrubbed off with sandpaper.

Russell Brand told "The Howard Stern Show" on SiriusXM that he enjoys hanging out with homeless people.

"They've got a lot of interesting things to say, some of them," said Brand, who added he takes them out for a meal every now and then. "Some of them do seem to be living outside of convention and they've got access to interesting information."

Well shit, Brand. Now I double like you. You just made "star" look human. (Plus, that jackassery of an outfit makes you look like a hobo. Go get 'em, tiger.)

christy fantz
Christy Fantz

The homeless folk can be a thorn between our toe-encased Chucks. However, they aren't going to bite us. (Well, a minor dose of bath salts may have them snacking on our faces...)

Homeless people are also human, (I want a trophy) and Russell, I commend you, dear sweet for being a different Brand of star.

Brusha, brusha, brusha

A press release came through this week from Brush Buddies inquiring, "You've heard of having 'a brush with a celebrity' right? ...but have you ever really BRUSHED WITH a celebrity ...specifically a musical star?"

I have not. I prefer brushing with your mom, Mr. Release.

Each toothbrush boasts that it plays two songs for a total of two minutes of brushing pleasure. So, next time you want to color your bathroom sink a shade of puke (back of the tongue is a touchy spot), now you can enhance the process with a musical toothbrush from the likes of Bieber, Gaga, PSY and LMFAO.

Headline of the weak

"How Kendall and Kylie Jenner Handle the Haters," from Yahoo's OMG! gossip site.

Those yearn-to-be-full-blooded-Kardashian-girls Kylie and Kendall are following the likes of their "entrepreneurial" family with a new fashion line for Pac Sun. Kendall, the old one (16), said, "I can't let haters, people that are going to judge me or say negative things, I can't let all of that stop me."

But every time you and your 15-year-old sister prance around Kardashianwood like streetwalkers, Lindsay Lohan grows an extra sore.

We're just asking you to look out for all of us here.

p-p-p-PETA

You know, like ch-ch-ch-Chia?

PETA is pissed at Beyonce for her Super Bowl outfit.

(This just in: PETA is lying in wait in some bushes outside of Jesus' house -- where he is dining on a sheepskin tablecloth alongside Buddha and Zeus -- with faux blood in tote to smother the gods when they step out for Cubans.)

"Today's fashions are trending toward humane vegan options and Beyonce's Super Bowl outfit missed the mark on that score," the animal rights group said in a statement.

I love fuzzy and slimy guys more than your crazed antics, PETA, but wasn't everybody's panties alike -- dudes, chicks, ponies -- wet after watching that hot ass bump around stage?

I know the Brush Buddies' press release's mom was.