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That's probably one of the last words anyone would use for me.
The battle I face is how to handle a wandering bug or (heaven forbid) spider that creeps into my home. I'm sure the neighbors have their concerns about the shrieks.
I also don't deal with cold. At all. After failing to find my pulse at the Expedition Health exhibit at Denver's Nature of Museum and Science, I'm hardly alive.
So imagine my friends' shock when I ventured into the hiking world. Basic, mind you, but any progress is good.
As I look to summer, planning my first camping trip -- AKA, drinking in the woods with my friend and eyeing the easiest fourteeners -- I'm slowly understanding this whole "in love with nature" things folks have.
Don't get me wrong though. My homebody tendencies and desire to remain dirt- and bug-free holds strong. But a few adventures now and then are in the works.
This weekend is the time to honor Mother Earth, as hormonal as she can be. Earth Day is Monday, and this environmentally conscious town is already working on a few celebrations.
St. Patrick's Day, New Years, Wednesdays. All solid drinking holidays. Who'd have thunk Earth Day would join those ranks?
Anxious to drink for the planet? Local breweries have got you covered, Boulder Theater, 2032 14th St., (303-786-7030), is hosting the Microbreweries for the Environment Friday at 8 p.m.
For 21 years, Colorado microbreweries have united for this event, serving up their best brews at $2 a pint. Admission -- at $22 a pop -- also includes a commemorative pint glass. Of course, there's the $12 sampler glass that'll get you unlimited tastings. Twenty breweries will be participating. Local bands Juno What?! and White Water Ramble will provide live tunes.
Proceeds are benefiting local non-profits like the CU Environmental Center and the Growe Foundation.
So drink for a cause, and brag that your inebriated shenanigans were all in the name of the planet's well-being.
Twisted Pine, 3201 Walnut St., (303-786-9270), is joining in on the festivities too, encouraging you to get all ... twisted and such.
Teaming up with the WILD Foundation, its WILD and Twisted Earth Day's got brewery olympics, trivia, a silent auction and prizes on Sunday from 2-6 p.m.
Test your knowledge and drinking limits, spend a little money and know that 10 percent of it is heading to the organization that is dedicated to wilderness protection and wilderness conservation.
And well, simply because I advocate for the cheap things, here's a shout-out to some free, live tunes at ol' West Flanders, 1125 Pearl St., (303-447-2739).
Local duo Strange Byrds will be rocking out from 8:30 to 10:30 p.m. Friday. Sip on a delicious craft brew, enjoy the music and get mentally prepped for the bad choices your night inevitably holds.
Yay for the Earth, and for those brews that make it all more exciting.