Feast your eyes on these starchy toruses. You want dis.
Feast your eyes on these starchy toruses. You want dis. (Morguefile)

Boulder's breakfast and brunch joints can be broken into two primary categories: frills and no-frills.

Well, then you also have those tweener spots, where it's a bit of a scene but also a bit of a dive, too. These are places of moderate frills.

So that's three. Three categories.

(Sorry for misleading you earlier, with the whole "two primary categories" line. We at the Daily are working hard every day to be keep the trust of our readers, and we're as disappointed in that lie as you are.)

Anyway, if you like wonderfully inventive dishes and morning booze but don't mind waiting 45 minutes for a table, Boulder's got you covered.

If you like those things, but not in that way, and you'd rather maintain a sort of casual thing with the land of frills while keeping one foot out the door, Boulder's still got you covered.

And if you just want some fucking eggs, that's cool, too. Nothin' wrong with that at all, my man.

Our staff, internationally reputed for its discerning breakfast taste, is here to break down the best of all worlds, just for you:

Frills!

The Buff

2600 Canyon Blvd.

6:30 a.m.-2 p.m. Monday-Friday; 7 a.m.-2 p.m. Saturday-Sunday


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The Buff has been around for 20 years and calls itself a "Boulder Institution." After a recent move to an upgraded location, its menu still boasts a hangover favorite of biscuits and gravy, along with egg dishes, sausages and skillets full of potatoes — all of which will soak up most industrial toxins that come with drinking too many car bombs in one sitting.

The menu also has vegetarian options for those not into snacking on tasty animals, as well as some gluten-free items if thoughts of wheat fill your gut with intense dread.

Alas, you are likely to wait for a table, with long waits common on weekends. It's worth it, though.

Snooze

1617 Pearl St.

7 a.m.-3 p.m. daily

It just doesn't get much frillier than this, though it can also be argued that it doesn't get much danker than this.

At Snooze, you'll wait a while for a table and then be rewarded with an impressive menu highlighted by off-the-beaten-path benedicts and an array of flavored pancakes and french toasts (with gluten-free options available) — all tasty.

One word to the wise: Their cocktails and bloodies are a little hit-or-miss.

Moderate frills!

Lucile's

2124 14th St.

7 a.m.-2 p.m. Monday-Friday; 8 a.m.-2 p.m. Saturday-Sunday

Lucile's pipes in Zydeco, jazz and Cajun music to transport diners to New Orleans. Since NOLA is a renowned party town, there is no better place to try to recall what happened the night before.

The Eggs Pontchartrain sounds killer — fresh pan-fried mountain trout, poached eggs and bĂ©arnaise sauce (which is hollandaise sauce's mean cousin). Lucille's also has a variety of other cajun-inspired fare, like New Orleans-style French toast and a creole omelette, along with more standard breakfast items.

My money is on the Eggs Pontchartrain.

Walnut Cafe

Two locations: 3073 Walnut St.; 673 S. Broadway St.

7 a.m.-3:30 p.m. daily

Dimitri Svigos, Martin Ryeiss, Becca Baldini, and Chase Sarkisian grab brunch at Snooze.
Dimitri Svigos, Martin Ryeiss, Becca Baldini, and Chase Sarkisian grab brunch at Snooze. (Chelsea Jewell / Colorado Daily)

The Walnut Cafe offers a variety of breakfast fare for the crudo college student — huevos rancheros, breakfast burritos, etc. Oddly enough, the eggs are available with vegan sausage.

The cafe also has a large selection of pancakes, french toast, omelettes and "Boulder Fare" like tofu scrambles, a tempeh skillet and breakfast potatoes piled with cheese.

And even more vegan food is available with selections like tofu rancheros (hey, to each his/her own), an artichoke heart sandwich and vegan "sausage" and "cheese." So your liver probably still hates you, but all the cows and pigs think you're awesome.

No frills!

Village Coffee Shop

1605 Folsom St.

5:30 a.m.-3 p.m. Monday-Friday; 5:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m. Saturday; 7 a.m.-2:30 p.m. Sunday

Open since 1971, Village Coffee Shop describes itself as an "authentic neighborhood diner" and its motto is "890 square feet of reality surrounded by Boulder," which is a tall order if you know anything about Boulder.

The restaurant has classic diner fare like chicken fried steak, SPAM and eggs and a Colorado favorite — a breakfast burrito smothered in pork green chili. No hangover stands a chance here.

For those with dietary restrictions, the shop serves gluten-free pancakes and toast at no extra charge. Their prices are already crazy low for Boulder, too.

Moe's Broadway Bagel

Three locations: 3267 28th St.; 3075 Arapahoe Ave.; 2650 Broadway

5:30 a.m.-5 p.m. daily

There isn't anyone in the world who doesn't like a good bagel — at least no one who is emotionally well-adjusted. Moe's boasts a pretty sizeable breakfast menu with your standard egg, meat and bagel combo.

They also have classic bagel shop stuff like whitefish and lox, and a variety of cream cheese spreads.

More importantly, they offer breakfast burritos with your Colorado pork green chile, and one selection — wait for it — has cream cheese inside the burrito. My arteries might hate you, Moe, but I love you.

True to Boulder form, they offer gluten-free selections.

Dot's Diner

2716 28th St.

7 a.m.-2 p.m. Monday-Friday; 8 a.m.-2 p.m. Saturday-Sunday

The first thing that jumps off of the menu at Dot's is the southern-style breakfast with eggs, ham, grits, gravy and a biscuit, along with the huevos rancheros, total working-class fare.

Anyone from the working class knows this — just because you're hungover doesn't mean you can call in sick. A bowl of grits or a plate of huevos, and you'll be back discussing patriarchal hegemony in 19th-century French literature in no time at all.

Dot's offers gluten-free items and vegan sausage, and the huevos are available with tofu instead of eggs, which is kind of strange, but again, to each his/her own.

Alex Burness: twitter.com/alex_burness