Maybe the University of Colorado hasn't had a football title since before you were a twinkle in your parents' reproductive organs. And yes, sometimes the tears of Folsom Field can be seen rushing towards the Pacific at a rate of Class VI rapids on Saturdays during the fall. But here's some juicy info: In its history, Colorado has won 28 national championships. (The crowd goes wild.)
Some Buffs sports are riding a rebuilding path, some are climbing the Pac-12 ladder, and some are destroying school records with success. Now that you're going to get comfy around here for a while, be sure to participate, attend or tailgate at least one game. (You'll be back.)
Here are some basics to add to your sports-smarts. (It's like street-smarts, but with balls.)
CU Buffs' mascot Ralphie is a girl. She is often mistaken for a dude, but now that you're a bona-fide Buff, you need to get your shit together.
Ralphie is routinely praised as one of the best live mascots in the nation. She is cared for by Ralphie Handlers — CU student athletes who keep an eye (and a tight leash) on that 1,100-pound fuzzball when she's let loose(ish) on Folsom.
Fun fact: Ralphie's first run was in 1934 against the University of Denver, where a buffalo calf was rented from a local ranch.
Chip on your shoulder
Chip the Buffalo is the faux-fuzzed costumed fan who does tricks, cheers, push-ups and such during Buffs games. Snap a selfie with him and whisper sweet nothings into his horns.
Fun fact: Chip was crowned back-to-back Mascot National Champion in 2009-2010.
This is the Buffs' conference. What does this mean for you? Not much. Develop spirited rivalries. And then drink those rivals far under the table.
Black & Gold
As you sit there in a black shirt with gold "Colorado" letters on it, I'm going to destroy all that you thought was true and tell you that CU's official colors are silver and gold.
Before you set yourself on fire, I have a story for you: The silver and gold apparently represented the rich minerals of Colorado. But homies from the olden days decided that the uniforms kind of looked stupid in silver and gold (it was so "Real Housewives").
Don't be assholes
College games get rowdy. They get loud. They get drunk.
Some fans are assholes. Try to be well-behaved Buffs by taking a step back, pulling your head out of your beer and let the other fans get in trouble. Words will fly in the stadium and at the tailgate. Try to keep your cool by being fair fans.
Now get the hell out of here, I'm sure there's some Buffs sport to watch.