Are you a University of Colorado student? Over the age of 21? Sick of drinking warm kegs of light beer? Tired of your journalism professor saying you shouldn't start off articles with questions?
Well, you are in luck! Because what follows is a guide to Boulder's craft beer scene that was written after lots of painstaking research that involved going around and drinking beer and writing down acute observations like, "Beer is good," on napkins.
In case you have read one of these before or are already mostly familiar with the Boulder brewery scene, let's get the recent news out of the way and go through some of the newer breweries.
Kettle and Spoke is a tiny nano-brewery that is located inside a company that designs bike and urban gear from recycled materials, #BecauseBoulder. Cellar West Artisan Ales in north Boulder is only open on the weekends, but if you make it there, the brewery specializes in oak-aged beers. Even further north is Gunbarrel Brewing, which also opened this year.
But the new news is not limited to the new dudes. Boulder Beer, Colorado's first microbrewery, has recently revamped its menu at its Wilderness Place location and has also added a new location on Walnut Street in downtown.
Also coming soon to downtown Boulder is The Post Brewing Co. and all of their delicious chicken and beer.
Anyway, moving on. Some of the other favorites in town include Twisted Pine (they've got some spicy beers, if you are feeling brave), Sanitas Brewing (get a discount on certain beers when the nearby train passes by), Mountain Sun Pub and Brewery (mark your calendars for Stout Month in February and bring cash), Upslope Brewing (locations in both east and north Boulder), West Flanders (happy hour pricing when the temperature dips below 20, because yes, Winter is Coming) and Wild Woods (if you like dark beers ask for the black on black).
If you want places that serve a wide variety of different craft brews on tap, be sure to check out FATE Brewing Co., Backcountry Pizza or the Rayback Collective if you are feeling especially hipstery.
And of course, you can always get craft beer to go by mixing your own six-packs at Liquor Mart and Hazel's Beverage World.
Mitchell Byars: twitter.com/mitchellbyars