The America we know today was built on the back of four very important ideas, my friend — a healthy disrespect for crown-clad authority figures, slavery, racism and decimating the Native American population.
Wait, where was I going with this? *checks headline*
Ah! And coffee! We drink coffee. No red-blooded American home is complete without a good, old-fashioned coffee maker brewing some strong, black Folgers grounds.
Ermm ... except tea has become increasingly popular. And coffee shops regularly sling sugary concoctions that are as related to a cup of joe as a kangaroo is to a Samuel L. Jackson (they have both been in movies with Christopher Walken. Look it up).
Well, forget patriotism. Let's be real. You need coffee because you are a college student — which along with long-haul truckers, Buckingham Palace guards and newspaper delivery people are the four occupations statistically in need of the most caffeine.
(Editor's note: No such research nor statistics exist.)
And if your caffeine can come with chocolate sauce, WiFi, books, live performances and pastry thrown in the mix, well all the better.
Here's where you can get your fix in Boulder.
Laughing Goat Coffeehouse
Where: 1709 Pearl St.
Hours: 6 a.m. to 11 p.m. Monday to Friday, 7 a.m. to 11 p.m. Saturday and Sunday
Where: Norlin Library, CU campus
Hours: 7 a.m. to midnight Monday through Thursday, 7 a.m. to 5 p.m. Friday, 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. Saturday, 10 a.m. to midnight Sunday
Where: 2907 55th St.
Hours: 6:30 a.m. to 6 p.m. Monday-Friday, 8 a.m. to 3 p.m. Saturday and Sunday
The downtown site is a true Bolder melting pot that features live music, poetry and "finely crafted adult libations," as billed on its website. The campus outlet is a great spot to grab a cup on the way to class, and during finals, it's open 24 hours a day to keep everyone caffeinated to dawn and beyond. The third location is a perfect stop-in for those working in the business parks on the city's far east side.
Each location is cozy and makes you feel as if you're sipping your coffee (or chai or iced mocha or kombucha or raspberry blonde ale) inside your cool friend's loft on a relaxed summer night while you listen to The Pixies.
Where: 5340 Arapahoe Ave.
Hours: 6 a.m. to 6 p.m. Monday-Saturday, 7 a.m. to 5 p.m. Sunday
Where: 1015 Pearl St.
Hours: 6 a.m. to 7 p.m. Monday-Saturday, 7 a.m. to 7 p.m. Sunday
Where: 1898 S. Flatiron Circle, #110
Hours: 7 a.m. to 5 p.m. Monday-Friday
What can't you get at Ozo? Lutefisk, but why would you want that anyway? It's really gross. Don't ever eat it.
At Ozo, you can not only get a plain-ass coffee if you're boring, but you could also get pure liquid cacao or apple cider or 21 DIFFERENT EFFING TYPES OF MOCHA. Including, I might add, a mocha called the Van Halen, which is a dark chocolate, vanilla and hazelnut situation.
I recommend their horchata latte if you can find it. And make sure your phone is charged and you're logged in to Instagram, because Ozo's baristas are more like bartistas amirite? (Heheheh). No seriously, they do pretty things with the pouring and the cream and the coffee art. It's a nice way to feel special.
Where: 2525 Arapahoe Road
Hours: 6 a.m. to 8 p.m. Monday- Friday, 7 a.m. to 7 p.m. Saturday-Sunday
Where: 1918 13th St.
Hours: 7 a.m. to 7 p.m. Monday- Friday, 8 a.m. to 7 p.m. Saturday, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Sunday
Where: 2610 Baseline Road
Hours: 6 a.m. to 9 p.m. Monday- Friday, 6:30 a.m. to 9 p.m. Saturday, 6:30 a.m. to 8 p.m. Sunday
Talk about being a locavore caffeine connoisseur. All of Brewing Market's coffees are roasted in Boulder and sold within a week of roasting. But that doesn't mean you don't get to taste coffee from all over the world. They've got Fair Trade Organic Peruvian grounds. They've got Kenya Peaberry grounds. They've got Sulawesi Toraja (no, I don't know what that means, but doesn't it sound exotic and delicious?).
For you tea-drinkers, they sell a bevy of different teas in their bulk leaf section. Along with cute little steepers and dippers and kettles, you can buy your very own Genmaicha Japanese Green Tea or the Yoga Blend ruby nectar tea.
These people are serious about their brews, so if you want to sip something you've never tasted before, in an overstuffed couch while considering whether a mint green mod tea kettle belongs in your kitchen, Brewing Market is the place for you.
Karen Antonacci: twitter.com/ktonacci