Alexandra Sieh moonlights as a newspaper designer.
But then she moonlights as a nightlife columnist.
Oh yeah, she also moonlights at a second job where she wears fancy clothes and carries a briefcase. Spy? Mary Kay? Who knows.
On top of it all, she moonlights as the Beer Girl. Alex has been writing "Boulder at Night" for the Colorado Daily for quite a while now.
But let's hush and let her talk...
Tell your us something juicy that we don't already know about you.
My first date and kiss came at the tender age of 17.
Moo Cow, a stuffed cow I got and named when I was 2, shares my bed each night.
I own something like 250 books, and happily admit I have a problem.
So I've proved, juicily enough, that I'm also the "Forever Alone" poster child.
Where's your favorite spot to park your ass in Boulder?
The Downer. Cheap booze, questionable cleanliness and fun staffers are all you need. Plus, the grungy gyro stand is just down the block, and I love me some drunk munchies.
You've received some lovin' for your column via jail mail. Flattering or creepy?
Flattering, yet foolish. They were seeking my legal advice, and my expertise lies in where to get pee-yourself drunk.
You're a fan of costume parties, we've learned through your column. Tell us about your best / worst costume.
The best: '80s Workout Gal, and our sweet stretching in sneakers and neon tights. The worst: Drunk Cinderella. The wig kept falling off, I kept falling off my heels and the thigh-highs gave my legs muffin tops. One-size-fits-all, my sweet ass.
If we could right up your taps at home and have just one type of alcohol dispense out of them, what would it be? Remember: You have to shower in it.
Sweet, sweet sangria. Pansy, you call me? Laugh on, but I'd smell great, taste even better and could drink all day without reaching the black-out danger zone. Plus, it's mostly fruit, to help me maintain my figure and avoid scurvy.
What's your favorite thing about the state of Colorado? If you say the Rams, you may have repercussions around town. But that's OK, you can handle an ass-kicking, right?
THE RA ... just kidding. I love them, but love not being egged more. So I choose those foxy mountain peaks of ours, to get on top of, or just stare at for a while. We're curvy here, and you know I like it.
What is your life mantra? You have to use a ridiculous movie quote.
"Sonny, true love is the greatest thing in the world ... except for a nice MLT - mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean and the tomato is ripe. They're so perky, I love that," Miracle Max in "The Princess Bride."
What advice would you give a CU student who can't find one single friend to bar-hop with?
It's OK, I'm the only single lady in my group, too. (What's that, Editor? You don't mean single like "Tell us your sad little story, you third wheel, you," single? Ohhh ... ) No friends up for pitchers or fish bowls? Head out anyway, and peacock. (It means dress like a straight-up fool.) The already drunk will comment, and there's your convo starter. That, or make friends with the bartenders and people-watch. Either way, you're bonding with folks you know like booze.
Tell us which character you'd like to marry on "Friends." We know you like boys in real life, but you can pick a girl if she suits your fancy.
I'll give you my preference both ways. The Chan-Man - I love me some sweater-vest, joke-cracking man candy. Or Rachel, because I have a raging lady boner for Jennifer Aniston.
You're the Beer Girl for the Colorado Daily. If you could spoon one Boulder craft beer, which would it be and why?
Monogamy's a fickle bitch, Editor. But Avery's Salvation would be a smooth bedtime companion, with it's fruity style and 9-percent ABV curves. I love me some light beers. (Don't worry, Boulder craft beer scene. It's a very open relationship.)
Alexandra Sieh's "Boulder at Night" runs every Friday on Colorado Daily's Page 3.