BOULDER, Colo. -
In one of my favorite episodes of "Arrested Development," characters face a static camera in close-up and announce they've "made a huge mistake."
Doesn't matter if they've won back the Spanish soap opera star or broken up with her -- a gross lack of forethought has caught up to them now that they've succeeded.
In December, my boyfriend invited me to come live in Norway with him.
In February, I agreed.
In April, I started actually thinking about that decision and naturally had to wonder whether I'd made a huge mistake, after buying a one-way ticket to Oslo and subsequently choking down panic vomit.
I'm leaving in less than a week. As the day grows closer, weird things are happening. Not ominous "Dooon't mooove to Nooorwaaay" kind of things (unless you count two broken mirrors and my friend Joe saying that in the middle of a thunderstorm.)
No, I mean I've been freaking out about having my LAST cashew chicken salad sandwich from Turley's.
Just like moving your bed and sending dust bunnies circling the room, rounding up more dust bunnies (as if they're going to form a posse and do something big finally), the spiritual act of relocating kicks up emotional dust bunnies and sends them swirling in your head.
My therapist has proclaimed I'm in a Kaleidoscope of Terror (thankfully, it's not in any way related to the Axis of Evil.
Things I've taken for granted -- beer, softball and mosquitoes at Stazio Fields; bongos played by shoeless folks on every corner; photo-radar tickets in the mail on a weekly basis -- suddenly everything is infused with nostalgia and I haven't even left yet.
Next week, I'll get on a plane, and then another, and then another, and end up 4,637 miles away from Boulder. And when I land, all I'll have are some Clint Eastwood pictures, my clothes, a couple of friends and the phrase, "Jeg vil ha en stor whiskey, takk. Gi meg flasken." ("I'll have a big whiskey, thanks. Leave the bottle.")
Director Jir Menzel's "I Served the King of England" was an official foreign language film entry for the 2008 Oscars, but despite not winning at the Big Show, it did manage to make its way onto my quote board.
In the film, a little waiter, whose 15-year stint in the big house would certainly merit saying, "I've made a huge mistake," instead says, "A person becomes most human often against his will, when he begins to founder, is derailed or deprived of order."
Yes, I clicked "buy" on the plane ticket, so I can't say this is against my will, but I'm hoping the fear gives way to a little more humanity.
And a willingness to eat rotten fish.
Boulder film critic Jeanine Fritz will chronicle her ongoing Norwegian adventures each week in the Colorado Daily. Stay tuned.