Chris Brown looks sad.
Chris Brown looks sad.

BOULDER, Colo. –

Chris Brown’s friend Tyrese Gibson said the alleged Rihanna assault incident is “really taking a toll on (Brown’s) spirit” and that people should give him some breathing room.

“We’re just trying to show him love and keep his spirits up while he’s going through all of the heat,” Gibson said.

Aw, sorry Chris. Did the bludgeoning of Rihanna’s face disrupt your social life?

Tyrese said we must remember Brown is only 19.

Thanks for clearing that up, Tyrese.

I know I feel better.

Lohan wants and wants

After failing nearly every endeavor possible in Hollywood, Lindsay Lohan now wants to be a model.

Is somebody broke?

“I love doing photo shoots … I mean, if I could just sign with IMG and do ad campaigns and model more, I’d do that,” she said, according to OK magazine. “That’s fun for me. That’s not work.”

As opposed to the “work” you’re doing now?

It appears Lohan is reaching dire straits.

“It’s scary when you realize, ‘Oh my God, I’m not working. And I have a house to pay for now. … and there’s been some things I’ve really wanted to do,'” she said in an interview with Nylon magazine.

She wanted to star in Tim Burton’s version of “Alice in Wonderland,” but the team wasn’t interested.

She also is attempting to collaborate with heavyweight Sean Penn, whom she claimed is trying to snag Seth Rogen for a project.

“…Seth won’t call us back. So call us back, Seth, if you’re reading this!”

Across town, Rogen sprinted to the nearest phone book in search of Lohan’s publicist.

Willis weds again

In Demi Moore fashion, her ex Bruce Willis married a model 22 years his younger.

Willis’ publicity agency said in a statement that Emma Heming tied the knot with the actor in a small ceremony in Turks & Caicos this weekend.

The reception was held at a McDonald’s Playplace.

Let’s look at a few of the young spouses’ similarities:

Ashton Kutcher,31. Model-turned-actor. (Actor used lightly). Married Demi Moore, who is 46.

Emma Heming,30. Model/actress. (Actress used even lightlier, i.e. “girl at club” in “Entourage” and “model #3” in a 2001 movie). Married Bruce Willis, who is 54.

Maybe now Emma can spoon-feed Bruce pureed carrots. She’ll tell him he’s her daddy while he swathes himself in his sage-green Snuggie.

That’s akin to the Moore household, although Demi prefers the royal-blue Snuggie.

The exes that play together, boil meat together, take out their teeth together and tell bedtime stories to young models together.

Precious.

Stern is busted

Aside from being called Anna Nicole Smith’s “enabler,” Howard K. Stern was charged with conspiring to furnish drugs to the late model, who died of an overdose in 2007.

California’s attorney general alleged hundreds of dangerous drugs were prescribed under false names.

Stern was not available for comment, as he and Sam Lutfi were basking in piles of pinched jewels and blank prescription pads, whilst reminiscing about exploiting dazed blondes in the days of yore.

Hollywood Headaches blog

HOLLYWOOD HEADACHES BLOG

Be sure to stop by Christy Fantz’s Hollywood Headaches blog for daily celebrity dirt.