Now this guy, he knows how to talk like a pirate.

Arrrrrrrr!

Avast, tha’ nineteenth of September ’tis International Talk Like A Pirate Day, ye landlubbers!

What?

Precisely.

In 1995, Cap’n Slappy (Mark Summers) and Ol’ Chumbucket (John Baur) decided to create a national holiday for the lingo of those dirty ol’ pirates.

Saturday’s holiday, which has grown into a global phenomenon, is nothing but a good excuse to whip out the eyepatch, chug rum from a metal tumbler and flap yer lips like a pirate.

Here are five tips on how to swash around town actin’ a fool.

Do it right or I’ll have yer head.

1 Look like a pirate

Black Widow Halloween, 1601 29th St., Boulder

Although the organizers said a costume is not required, dressing as a swashbuckler or a wench makes things so much better. Squander yer treasure at a costume shop and pick up some pirate garb. At the very least, slap an eyepatch on, ye partypooper.

Info: blackwidowhalloween.com, 303-442-3215

2 Talk like a pirate

Ye amateurs! Learn how to turn English into Pirate at talklikeapirate.com. Since “arrrrrrrr” won’t cut it all night, learn some basics, a few pickup lines and even some advanced pirate lingo. Or, learn the lingo by turning your Facebook language setting from “English” to “Pirate.” Shiver me timbers!

Info: talklikeapirate.com/howto.html

3 Act like a pirate

Actually, don’t pillage and plunder. Or don’t slaughter and hold other mateys for ransom. But do swagger around in a ridiculous outfit while spewing incoherent jargon. Arrrrrrrr!

4 Party like a pirate

Although Boulder’s Pirate Con is doing their annual pubcrawl a week late (Sept. 26), you can practice for next week’s festivities by swinging around town on Saturday. The grog of choice for pirates is… “Fifteen men on a dead man’s chest — Yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum!” Download tunes from Denver band Potcheen — they play “Celtic pirate-punk-folk-rock” tunes.

Info: boulderpiratecon.org

5 Learn from pirates

Swig the grog at home in yer garb and have a pirate movie marathon. Here are some to choose from: watch the modern pirates in the “Pirates of the Caribbean” series, or Charleton Heston as Long John Silver in 1990’s “Treasure Island,” or check out Errol Flynn as a swashbuckler in 1935’s “Captain Blood.”

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