That senioritis may have about pushed you over the edge this past semester, but congratulations! You survived.
Since the whole family trucked into town to watch you pass this great milestone in life, here are some tips on how to make the day go by smoothly.
Just remember to keep drinking that water — your hangover’s not going to cure itself.
1 Dress accordingly
Although it’s tempting to go naked under the cap and gown, clothes always prove to be a better option. Grandma doesn’t want to see your butt from the bleachers. As for the front row — they for sure don’t.
2 Don’t be too hungover
Graduation at 9:30 a.m. We can’t change this. You already partied hard last night, we also can’t change this. But, resist that temptation to hit snooze. It took a lot of money and effort to get you here, at least try to make it to the ceremony on time.
3 Minimize the early drinking
Jager bombs at 6 a.m. at the Sink prior to graduation probably sounds like a great tradition right now. If you must, at least try to take it easy — you don’t want to be snoring in the fifth row. Or better yet — fall flat on your face when collecting your diploma.
4 Squeeze the parent’s wallet
Take advantage of mom and dad’s credit card while it makes a trip to town this weekend and stock up on Buff gear. In a couple months, while slurping Ramen noodles in a studio apartment, that sweatshirt will come in handy when you’re paying for your own heating bill.
5 Go back to grad school
The real world is overrated. Plus, there are no jobs out there anyway. During graduation brunch, lube up mom and dad with some mimosas and break it to them that you need more money to go back to school. Trust me. Never graduate.