Each week, the Yeti reaches into his mailbag and answers advice questions from people who can’t solve their own puny problems. Send your questions to firstname.lastname@example.org, comment on the Yeti online or chat up the Yeti on Twitter — he’s @doctoryeti there — and if you’re lucky, you’ll receive your own hairy response from the wisest beast of all.
I am having a really hard time choosing an appropriate Christmas gift for my boss. See, I really need to suck up, because I’m pretty sure layoffs are on the way, but I also don’t want to alienate my coworkers. The boss is a lady in her mid-40s, and she’s really into her two kids, golf, computer flight simulators and I think some kind of dance class she drags her husband to.
I don’t know about any of that crap. What do I get her to ensure I keep the job while still looking cool to my friends in the office?
Get boss lady fancy bottle of whiskey or vodka. But human siphon off about third of it and replace with appropriately tinted flavorless liquid, or maybe just water.
Then human serve siphoned-off whiskey to colleague and exchange tacit high-five.
Congratulation on your long-lasting career, office human. Yeti await his own bottle of whiskey that human plan to send in thanks for genius advice.
DOCTOR YETI, c/o EDITOR GUY
1048 Pearl St.
Boulder, CO 80302
Got a question for the Yeti? Write in at email@example.com.
What is the story behind the portrait used on your twitter account and in the @coloradodaily?
Twitter Human @mpascoe:
This photograph taken at Yeti barbershop quartet performance. In this photo, Yeti singing either “Sweet Georgia Brown” or “Sweet Adeline.” Yeti not remember exactly, but Yeti sure it was sweet.
Other three member of barbershop quartet cropped out of photo because THIS YETI COLUMN, NOT THEIRS.
My boyfriend smells like a Yeti. How can we contain this?
Disrespectful Human Linds:
Your name really stupid.