Each week, the Yeti reaches into his mailbag and answers questions from the very tall and the very short alike. Send your questions to the Yeti at doctoryeti@coloradodaily.com, comment on the Yeti online, or chat up the Yeti on Twitter — he’s @doctoryeti there — and if you’re lucky, receive your own response from the wisest beast of all.
Dear Yeti,
I have a friend coming to visit and he has never skied or snowboarded. He wants to try one, but is having a pretty hard time deciding which one to do. As a snow-loving beast yourself, which would you recommend? (I, myself, do not care. I choose to spend my money on decades’ worth of collectible Happy Meal toys and I defy you to tell me how one makes any more sense than the other.)
— Sean
Human Sean:
Take it easy. Human not wrong — skiing no more or less sensible than any human pursuit. Like happiness.
Pshaw, Yeti say. Pure human happiness rarer than 1980s Happy Meal Transformers full set, and typically found in same place — at end of greasy meal.
Human friend probably have more fun trying to snowboard because it easier to talk about with other human novice. “Oh, human went snowboarding? How human butt?” “It sore from falling due to combination of human lack of dexterity and propensity to bind own feet to overpriced leisure device.” “ME TOO.”
This never fail. It also good excuse to talk about butts, if human into that kind of thing.
Condolences,
Yeti
Dear Yeti,
What it is?
— Amy
Human Amy:
Human — or — wait. What? Yeti not sure what to do with this one. Maybe: it good. That not really advice, though.
This a weak letter. Yeti need better people writing in.
Condolences,
Yeti
Dear Yeti,
Do you have a good hangover remedy?
— Kenny
Human Kenny:
Yes, Yeti find that running in terror from giant, hairy beast pep human right up after even heavy night of drinking.
Maybe human just try making some eggs, toast, drink a lot of water and send Yeti address and next time human plan on being hungover.
Human may want to invest in new running shoes.
Condolences,
Yeti
