LM Otero
Hey, it’s Jay-Z.


Jay-Z, pray tell us what you think about the “We Are the World” star-studded remake?

(Note: He is better than you. And, yes. That is old news.)

More Headaches

Christy Fantz dishes the dirt daily on her Hollywood Headaches blog.

“‘We Are the World,’ I love it, and I understand the point and think it’s great. But I think ‘We Are the World’ is like (Michael Jackson’s) Thriller to me. I don’t ever wanna see it touched,” Jay-Z told MTV News.

The flashy Hollywood remake, which benefits Haiti earthquake relief, includes iconic music geniuses as Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber. (It drips with disdain, folks.)

Although you make a fitting point, Mr. Z, I would like to discuss you and Alicia Keyes’ intentions of bitchslapping traditional pop with futuristic rap.

Amongst this deliberation of distaste, pinching the Big Apple theme song from Liza Minnelli and Frank Sinatra far surpasses the remake of the already-grating “We Are the World.”

Yeah. I said it.

Oh please. The dentist waiting room is the only place you’ve ever even contemplated finger dancing to it.

Lil’ Jon

As much as we want to see Jon Gosselin fall into a pile of untreatable STDs, it’s common knowledge that publicly insulting your ex’s manhood will backhand the hell out of those rosy cheeks somewhere down the line.

Both sets.

It’s just not cool.

Hailey Glassman, Gosselin’s ex, destroyed the father of eight in an interview with Steppin Out magazine:

“He was so small I didn’t think he would cheat on me.”

“He’s hung like a 9-year-old boy.”

She even claims he measures up to “3 inches” and “would laugh about it” with her mom.

A source also told the magazine that Kate Gosselin referred to little Jonny Boy as “stubby.”

Jon even told “Good Morning America” in September:

“I took a lot of abuse from (Kate). I was put down.”

Yeah, she’s a brute. But Hailey on the other hand? Who are you?

Oh right. The Z-lister who appears on the cover of Steppin Out magazine.

Steppin who?

Precisely.

She’s climbing those Hollywood ranks as quickly as Tara Reid’s skin is scraping the pavement. Gross.

On, ahem, a shorter note: Good luck getting laid again, Mr. G.

Try the Westword personals. I hear they aren’t at all particular. I said I hear, cough.

Too fat to fly?

Director Kevin Smith was booted from a Southwest Airplane because he was allegedly too fat.

The captain deemed him a “safety risk.”

The airline offered him $100 voucher as an apology.

Gee.

Thanks Southwest. Among public humiliation, shed tears of grief, burst blood vessels of fury, the salivating Jenny Craig in search of a lucrative spokesperson,  Rosie O’Donnell’s bothersome blog about the situation (she enjoys chiming in on random things so we remember she’s still somewhere),  pizza crying in its sleep and Jonah Hill’s shaking booties — among all that, $100.

That’s awesome.

IHOP, table for three?

Kevin, screw that. Have Ballpark Franks sponsor you and we’ll help

You grind up that pilot into a tasty one.

After landing in Southern California on another flight, Smith joked:

“I’ve landed in Burbank. Don’t worry: wall of the plane was opened & I was airlifted out while Richard Simmons supervised.”

Here’s to hoping he retaliates with a tale-turned-blockbuster.

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