The bars have closed.
That booze-filled belly is screaming at you to stuff it with greasy things.
But by the time you screw around and slur rubbish to your homies outside the bar (post last call), you aren’t getting home until 3 a.m. At least.
Then, when you get home and have called every delivery place around only to find out they’ve already closed, you resort to dipping carrots in Tabasco sauce as a snack.
Here’s a tip: Get food before you go home.
Granted, we’re not all lushes around here. Hey, speak for yourself. Ahem.
But those late-night cravings hit us all. If a quick break is needed from studying or heavy tube watching, you need to know where the good stuff lives late at night.
Plus, probably 63 percent of you have the munchies, and that means you need to stuff your face. Sinners.
Sure, you can hit up Taco Bell, IHOP or Denny’s, but let’s get creative here. Boulder has it all. Pizza, sandwiches, fries, cookies, gyros and more.
Save Taco Bell for an emergency. Your guts will thank me later.
Here are five late-night quick eats for all you vampires out there. (Clarification: The cool vampires. Not the “Twilight” vampires.)
1 Cosmo’s Pizza
Where: 659 30th St., Boulder, 303-447-3278
Late hours: Every night until 2:30 a.m.
You could order pizza when you get home, but why would you do that when you can amuse yourself by watching a bunch of drunken people eat?
The line will definitely be out the door at Cosmo’s during the weekends. Plus, the plate-sized, foldable, New York style pizza is pretty damn tasty.
Cosmo’s also has calzones, breadsticks and salads. The joint has ready-made slices or you can order what you crave.
2 The Gyro Stand
Where: On the Pearl Street Mall at 11th and Pearl streets
Late hours: 10 p.m. to 2:30 a.m. Tuesday through Saturday
If you’ve partied on Pearl Street, you know all about this cart.
The smell wafting from the stand is enough to make someone who just ate a meal order another one.
Students wrap around the stand, wait in line and get greasy gyros, hot dogs, grilled cheese sandwiches and hamburgers. Make sure you save some cash from your night out — the stand doesn’t take plastic.
3 Boulder Baked
Where: 1310 College Ave., Boulder, 303-444-4999; 1911 Broadway, Boulder, 303-444-4999
Late hours: Until 2 a.m. Tuesday through Saturday; midnight Sunday
Although a heavy dose of greasy carbs can satisfy a stomach growl, a couple of cookies can sound really super to that sweet tooth.
The local, family-owned bakery has 33 varieties of cookies, tons of cupcakes, pies, brownies, milkshakes and even vegan and gluten-free cupcakes.
If you need something heartier to start, Boulder Baked also serves up grilled cheese sandwiches, tuna melts, sloppy joes, soup and vegetarian chili.
4 Dubbin’s Sandwiches
Where: In an east side window on 13th Street between Pearl and Walnut streets, 770-900-5255
Late hours: 8 p.m. to 2:30 a.m. Tuesday through Saturday
This literal hole in the wall can pump out some serious sandwiches.
The shop is located in a window on 13th Street. But you won’t need to worry about finding this hidden gem during the late-night hours. You’ll see the line. You’ll smell the food.
The sandwiches, like a barbecue pork sandwich or chicken sandwich, are delicious.
5 Illegal Pete’s
Where: 1320 College Ave., Boulder, 303-443-0942; 1447 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-3955
Late hours: Until 2:30 a.m. Thursday through Saturday
Illegal Pete’s is great because not only can you sit on the patio and drink beer, but you can order a gargantuan burrito late into the eve.
The quick-serve Mexican restaurant wraps huge tortillas around a variety of yummy toppings. The cool thing about this burrito joint is that the workers mix everything together before they wrap it up so every bite is delicious.