You missed out on the largest collection of U.S. beer ever gathered in one place. Damn you.
Next week’s Great American Beer Festival — which houses 2,200 beers in the Colorado Convention Center in downtown Denver — is sold out.
Don’t fret, it sold out weeks ago. You’re way too late.
But you’re in luck. Denver is starting early in its celebration of all things beer leading up to the festival. Beginning Friday, the city will hold a 10-day Denver Beer Fest extravaganza.
Various restaurants, bars and hotels are hosting beer tastings, brewery tours, pub crawls, beer pairing dinners and more.
Check these events out:
Brew at the Zoo
Yeah, we’re all poor. Except you, trust funder. Hey, are you single?
Anyway, $65 seems like a large wad of cash for a college student to blow on one event.
I have a genius plan.
The event is Friday, so you’ll need to raise some cash. Have a party tonight. Put a keg on your credit card, collect cash at the door, pocket it and you’re golden.
Yes, this is a horrible idea and exactly why yours truly is in mad debt. But this event is awesome, so heed my poor advice for once.
Friday night, the Denver Zoo, 2300 Steele St., is hosting its annual suds safari, featuring more than 40 of Colorado’s breweries, appetizers and music.
Rationalize this way: You can go around and pound 40 different beers and stuff your face with hors de oeuvres. That’s like $2 a beer. Wait. That’s not right. I’m a journalist, I can’t add. You figure it out.
Just don’t taunt the animals. I had a run-in with a gorilla years ago and it wasn’t pretty. Be nice to the furry friends.
Most importantly, don’t get tanked and fall into the lion’s den. He’s always hungry.
Info: 7-10 p.m. Friday 303-376-6741. 21 and up. $65.
The Ship Tavern, 321 17th St., may be a smidge swanky for your ghetto style, but this event is neat.
The bar in the Brown Palace hotel is serving up beer, prohibition-style — in a teapot. Word is, during that awful period we call prohibition, the Brown Palace would mix tea-colored alcohol in pots to break the dirty law.
Brown Palace, I like your style.
The Ship Tavern opened in celebration of the repeal of that horrid prohibition era in 1934. Go smack the bar’s ass for making a great decision. Plus, pretending to do bad things is sexy.
Info: 303-297-3111. Any time during the Denver Beer Fest, just ask to have your beer in a teapot.
Boulder in Denver
Did you know that the Boulder Beer Company is Colorado’s first microbrewery?
Now you do. Meet the head brewer, Steve Trese, at Bubba Gump’s Shrimp Company, 1437 California St., from 4 to 6 p.m. Tuesday as he taps a keg of his latest recipe, Flashback India Brown Ale.
Tour de Fat
Fine, exercise freaks. Get that endorphin rush before getting a buzz. Lame.
The Tour de Fat is a six(ish)-mile ride around the city, beginning in City Park, and ends with a raging beer party. You’ll see those crazy Denver Cruisers in costumes, some live music and lots of beer.
Good luck with that race. I’ll wait for you by the beer. Oh, and maybe don’t ride home.
Info: Race begins 9 a.m. Saturday. Entertainment begins at 11 a.m. Free (suggested donation of $5). City Park. newbelgium.com/content/denver-city-park
Christy Fantz’s “Doing Denver” runs every Thursday in the Colorado Daily.