Training 101: How to overdo it

A little rain, a little wind, a little chill — it’s time to go inside to train a little. And overtrain. For skiing or snowboarding or ice climbing or the Bicycle Tour of Colorado.

What? It’s only eight months away.

Between peer pressure, good weather and so much fun stuff to do in Boulder, “The whole environment lends itself to people being overtrained,” said Connie Sciolino, owner and head coach at the Alpine Training Center.

Everyone else is doing it. You should, too.

(What did she say about peer pressure?)

Try these five suggestions for full-on overtraining (or not):

1 Don’t stop

Rest days make you stronger. But you feel like you’re getting weaker if you’re not doing something.

Do something. Every day. Sciolino says no rest is a sure way to overtrain.

While you’re at it, try some other obsessive and self-destructive behavior, like drunk-texting the new guy you’re dating, or Facebook stalking your ex-girlfriend.

Now you’re overtrained and full of regret. Text-gret. Super.

2 Eat junk

“Lack of proper nutrition leads to lack of recovery, and without that recovery, that leads to overtraining,” Sciolino said.

So this Friday, run before class, go to a conditioning class on your lunch break and make plans (Hiking? Marathon? Hiking marathon?) all day Saturday.

Fuel this on a latte, leftover pizza, half a Clif bar and half a cigarette.

Friday night, drink and don’t eat anything. Maybe an M&M. Around midnight, realize you haven’t eaten anything and stop by the gyro cart on Pearl Street.

Saturday, be glad you’re still young and get away with this kind of crap.

3 Follow your buddy

See Jane run. 20 miles. See Jane climb. 5.13.

See Jane shred every back bowl in the state.

Jane is strong.

You want to be like Jane. But you will overtrain if you try to go from zero to Jane in two weeks.

Did I just call you a zero? Whoops.

Getting sucked into your stronger buddy’s training plan is a good way to overtrain, Sciolino says. So is going out on a rest day because your friends are.

4 Delude yourself

If you get that rest days make you stronger, take faux rest days instead.

Try one of the following self-deluding statements:

“I didn’t do anything today. I just did Pilates. Twice.”

“I took a rest day today. I only ran to Royal Arch, not up Bear Peak.”

“I went for a recovery ride. To Estes Park. Then to Ward. Then Nederland. Then the gyro stand on Pearl. Whatever.”

5 Ignore illness and injury

True overtraining results in illness. Keep your workout schedule despite the inevitable illness and/or injury.

Bonus: You’ll piss off everyone when you spread your viral plague throughout the weight room.

Fatigue and frequent illness are signs you’re overtrained, Sciolino says.

So don’t be that guy/gal. In fact, don’t be anyone mentioned here. Train smart.

OK, maybe be Jane.