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Colorado bartenders compete in a cocktail world cup Sunday.
Colorado bartenders compete in a cocktail world cup Sunday.

You wish you could be a bartender.

Flipping bottles through your crotch like Tom Cruise in “Cocktail” (yeah, yeah, we know you weren’t born yet), hot patrons sucking limes out of your mouth after a tequila shot, getting incessantly hit on by blathering drunk idiots… sounds awesome.

You’ll never be that cool. But you can go watch Colorado bartenders mix things up at the Bluebird Theater, 3317 E. Colfax Ave., Denver, tonight for the 42Below Cocktail World Cup.

Bartenders will use the New Zealand wheat vodka 42Below for their recipes while they showcase (showoffs) their fancy moves.

The event is free, so go swoon over those hot pieces of ass (man embracing a bottle trumps a man sans bottle) who are competing for the finals in New Zealand — and you may even get a free cocktail or two.

Info: Sunday at 7 p.m.;; 303-322-2308; Free.

Midget wrestling

Oh dear.

An uncomfortable feeling of offense and degradation has set in.

Isn’t the “m” word politically incorrect?

Hmm. Not in this case.

Saturday at 7 p.m., Summit Music Hall, 1902 Blake St., Denver will host Extreme Midget Wrestling.

That name does ring a little better than Extreme Little People Wrestling. Plus, many of the wrestlers, all sporting petite frames, have reportedly said they prefer the “m” word to “little people.”

The Little People of America organization declared “midget” to be derogatory in 2009, but these wrestlers don’t care.

The Extreme Midget Wrestling Federation has been touring the country since 2000 with wrestlers who are no different than Hulk Hogan. Well, minus the height restriction and a smaller rink. (And perhaps a lack of douchiness.)

Go watch the spectacle Saturday night in what they call “the baddest little show on Earth.”

Info: Saturday at 7 p.m.;; 303-443-2227; $12.

Swappin’ stuff

Buying used music equipment is a pain in the ass.

(Not that I would know. The only musical aptitude possessed by yours truly is drunken karaoke. And it’s not pretty.)

But I can imagine it is: frustrating online searches, finding reputable buyers and attempting to ship heavy equipment. We’ve had better.

Cervantes’ Masterpiece Ballroom, 2637 Welton St., Denver, will host a monster swap of new, used and vintage music items at the Colorado Music Gear Swap Meet on Sunday from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m.

You can trade gear like accordions, banjos, cellos, DJ gear, drums, electric guitars, harps, harmonicas, microphones, stage gear, studio gear, trumpets, turntables, violins and whatever the hell else is out there.

The swap will also have clinics, product demos and live tunes.

Info: Sunday 10 a.m.-4 p.m.; 720-468-0011; $6-$8.

Christy Fantz’s Doing Denver runs every Thursday in the Colorado Daily.

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