It’s 60 and sunny in Boulder today, which means it’s time to blind everyone with your bare legs on your run, ski in a T-shirt at A-Basin, check on your camping reservation for spring break and conveniently forget about all other responsibilities in your life.
It’s spring. The thermometer says so. Thermometers don’t lie.
But it’s not spring break yet.
Stupid calendar.
Live in the now, Cap’n Anachronism. You have another week of class. Resist the temptation to mentally check out (and into break) by watching for these five clues that you have a bad case of spring fever:
1 You’re underdressed
A classic symptom of spring fever is being delusional about your clothing choices. If you’re tempted to do one of the following this weekend, you’re probably viral:
– Cruise the halfpipe in a sports bra. While it’s snowing.
– Ride Picture Rock Trail with no shirt. Or shoes.
– Climb a Flatiron in… What clothes?
2 You tube
It’s warm. No, it’s hot. So hot they’ve surely closed all the ski areas.
So hot, in fact, that tubing on the Boulder Creek seems like a good idea.
(Again: Impaired judgement accompanies spring fever.)
You go to the place where you rented a tube last year (in June) and lo, they are closed (because it’s March).
The injustice! You are burning up!
You decide you don’t need a tube and wade into Boulder Creek.
Actually, this is safer than usual, because unlike in June, there’s no snowmelt to make the creek rage.
Huh. OK go ahead and do this one, but know that safety doesn’t equal sanity. Weirdo.
3 You dream in warmth
With spring fever, delirium can change your standard lecture-hall daydreams.
Old daydreams: powder days, smears of ice to climb, powder days, hucking cliffs at Crested Butte, powder days.
New daydreams: Climbing sunny rock, corn skiing, paddling the Lyons Whitewater Park, mountain biking, watching the men of the CU ski team playing beach volleyball shirtless, against the climbing team, of course.
Wait — that one’s year-round.
4 You’re not mourning
Those riddled with spring fever are so over winter that they lack the scruples to mourn the loss. Watch for:
– Sudden loss of appetite for ice climbing
– Low/no motivation for getting first tracks
In some cases, these symptoms are followed by:
– Shedding of winter beard (for supposed face warmth)
– Pinkish hue on arms and legs following exposure to sunlight
5 You’re out
Key symptom: You can’t stay in the newsroom for more than like three minutes before it’s torture that you’re not outside rock climbing.
Wait, I mean, you can’t stay in class…
Yeah, I’m contagious. I’m out.
