W ere I in Boulder this weekend, I’d go see the llamas.

Not the lamas. I mean, I would go see them too, Om…

But I’m talking about the furry kind.

To clear this up, I’ll quote Ogden Nash:

The one-L lama,

He’s a priest.

The two-L llama,

He’s a beast.

And I would bet

A silk pajama

There isn’t any

Three-L lllama.

On Saturday, Paragon Guides will be at Neptune Mountaineering with Lazer the Llama to talk about Paragon’s wilderness treks and camping trips with llamas carrying your gear (not you).

Lazer. Adore the name almost as much as my brother’s childhood pet gerbil Fireball. It’s like American Gladiators. But with docile-fuzzy-happy animals. Yay.

So I said “llamas,” plural, at the top, but it’s actually just one llama at the cookout at Neptune. Yep, a cookout, and a llama. But no lamas. Unless some lamas come to see the llama. Maybe they need a llama to carry their lama things.

Wonder if this will make my editor’s head explode?

I’ll get him a llama trek (not a lama trek) to make it up to him.

Info: Noon to 5 p.m. Saturday;;

Bare-ish 5K

Saturday is also the day for the Naked Foot 5K , a barefoot-slash-minimalist run at Foothills Community Park.

Wait, you could do both! Run the Naked Foot in your silk pajamas in the morning, then go see the llama and possible lamas in the afternoon.

But don’t wear shoes.

wUnless you want to. Shoes are allowed, actually. But since it’s a barefoot-inspired event, if you wear shoes, wear your barefoot footwear.


Also, bring shoes to the Naked Foot — shoes you no longer want. Organizers of the Naked Foot partnered with Soles4Souls, which distributes shoes to people all over the world…so they’re collecting gently used shoes at the barefoot race.

Totally related: Lamas wear shoes, but llamas don’t. At least not the Vibram FiveFinger toe-shoes that minimalist runners wear.


Bacaro ride

This Sunday is the monthly Bacaro ride — a bike ride that starts at the restaurant downtown with pastries and coffee, cruises out of Boulder to burn some calories and have a little fun, and finishes back at the restaurant for a pass-the-plate, family-style Italian lunch.

And it’s for charity. This month’s recipient is Singletrack Mountain Bike Adventures (SMBA), a local program that teaches kids to mountain bike.

P.S., ride your bike, not your llama, on the Bacaro ride.

I would bet

A three-L lllama

That I’d love a trek

With Lazer the llama.

Info: Starts at 9 a.m. Sunday;

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