Folks, listen. Particularly managers and owners of local businesses, restaurants and boutiques.

It’s still unreasonably hot outside. The balmy heat continues to be downright arrogant, and we must fight Nature’s terrible wrath with all the weapons in our civilized arsenal. That said, please, please, please pump up the air-conditioning.

Now, yes, A/C may emit CFCs (aka chlorofluorocarbons) that hungrily eat away at the ozone layer, thus making it hotter. But, c’mon. What has Al Gore done for us lately? And have you ever met his son? What a bad father; talk about an (oh yes) inconvenient truth.

You may lose that nifty sticker on your store window for not being nearly as green as the next guy, but at least your customers won’t be melting away into their vinyl seats, yearning for the peaceful serenity of death.

Practicality before principle, please.

(I’m reminded of those wackily inconsiderate sadists who — in order to conserve water — don’t flush the toilet after going numero uno. The way we’ve been depleting the world’s water supply is disgusting, true. But what’s even more disgusting is seeing a stranger’s pool of pee in the toilet you’re about to use.)

With the Earth finally going bye-bye, we should at least enjoy our time while here in comfortably crisp coolness caressing our sunburnt faces.

And speaking of which, you can enjoy the cool temperature-controlled embrace of Macky Auditorium (Main Campus, 1595 Pleasant St.) this Friday. In addition to the A/C, you’ll experience the Ballet Hispanico, which “reflects and expands the essence of Latino cultures.” (Talk about hot! ) The Ballet Hispanico has performed its singular mix of ballet and modern dance for more than two million audience members during its three-decade run.

Friday night’s show starts at 7:30 p.m. and goes to 9:30 p.m., with a pre-show conversation proceeding in Macky 102 at 6:45 p.m. Tickets to the show start at $12. More information available at:

If Latin ballet doesn’t chill you out, you can also go for CU’s own Performance Friday taking place on Friday (derrrh) from noon to 1 p.m. You can catch excerpts from CU Opera’s production of the “Marriage of Figaro,” whose title I believe is Italian for “Il bello è bello.” Norlin Library (1157 18th St., 5th Floor, Center for British and Irish studies… for some reason).

Oh, and this just in on the performance front (“just” being one of them relative terms like “father” and “special theory”): CU Boulder’s Holiday Festival tickets will go on sale starting this Sunday from 1 p.m. to 3 p.m. These tickets go fast, so if you’re up for some holiday performance fun-ness this December, then get moving post haste. Price of admission goes from $12 to $52 and tickets can be purchased online at, over the phone at 303-492-8000 or from the box office at the University Club.

A longtime Boulder tradition, the Holiday Festival presents seasonal music from around the world performed by the University Symphony Orchestra, CU choirs, small ensembles and soloists. Boy, won’t it be nice to listen to that music all bundled-up and chilly-nilly come this holiday season? Yeah!

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