FIVE THINGS: If the U.S. wants to stay ahead in the viral video market, it has its work cut out for it

Good morning. Here are five things you should know today.

If you’re like our occasional video game reviewer, you’re neck-deep in Modern Warfare 3 right now. But if you’re not like him — in that you wanted to get the game but couldn’t because the store didn’t have it — please don’t threaten actual, physical violence at the Best Buy. It’s unbecoming.

Tyler Hansen says he wishes he had more time with the Buffs. But I’m pretty sure that would kill him.

It’s a little early in the morning for hitting the sauce, so save this link for later: will tell you what to drink based on the music you’re listening to. Music reporter Ashley Dean spotted this one and was much chagrined to find out that, based on what she’s listening to, most of the time she should be drinking PBR. Sorry, bro, the internet’s got your number.

If you’ve ever had your bike stolen, you’re gonna love this story.

I’m sorry that this edition of Five Things was late. This is actually the third time I’m writing it. Technical difficulties.

So I wanted to leave you with something really special.