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The weekend was too good to be true, until the perfect upslope storm hit.

Last week, on Wednesday, a friend invited us to his friend’s condo in Beaver Creek. It’s a ski-in, ski-out condo, he said, and when he goes up for a weekend, his pal even stocks the fridge. He had some free spa passes. And of course, the condo is free.

Twist my arm. We’re heading to Beaver Creek for the weekend, woohoo!

I was a little giddy. I’ve never been to Beaver Creek. This friend is always fun to hang with. And the weather started to hint at a quality storm in Colorado on Friday. Fresh snow piled atop that other great stuff? This really is too good to be true!

Thursday, the forecast shifted: upslope monster. An upslope storm means awesome, abundant snow here in our backyard, but perhaps a dearth in Beaver Creek. It also meant that it traffic along the Front Range could be snarled.

I started to see myself stuck on Floyd Hill on I-70 for hours, probably looking for a cup to pee into, then trying to figure out how to successfully pee into a cup in my car.

Friday, as you know, we awoke to a foot of snow and the television blaring about the snowpocalypse on the Front Range. They occasionally showed sad, dry video from Summit County. Then I heard “It’s not snowing at all in Vail.” Then Eldora posted on Facebook: 18 inches of fresh.


We looked at the facts:
1. Eldora, 18 inches. Beaver Creek, no inches.

2. Someone doesn’t call and invite us to a free condo in Beaver Creek every weekend.

3. It was a lovely invite, and if we bail, we’re big fat jerks.

4. If we try to go to Beaver Creek, we could have that whole looking for a pee cup in the car situation.

We were conflicted. Mostly because I didn’t want to be a jerk. But the hub said:

“Isn’t this part of the code? Don’t you get a pass when there’s this much powder?”

Snow before bros?

I told our friend we couldn’t pass up the potential for a massive powder dump as we prepared to head to Eldora.

Since Boulder Canyon was closed, then open, then partly open, then, sigh, it took us an hour and 30 minutes, via a roundabout route, to get to Eldora.

This gave me plenty of time to feel like a jerk for putting snow conditions ahead of our relationships.

By the time we arrived, much of the fresh snow was pounded into bumps with occasional icy patches — not the powder I’d envisioned.

Great. I’m not skiing pure powder, and I’m a jerk. Plus, my legs are wasted from attempts to power through the bumps. But I’d passed on a free massage at a spa.

Saturday morning, still feeling that mental stain of jerk — looks like grape juice on your favorite white shirt that got bigger when you tried to dab it up — we headed up to Eldora only to learn their parking lot was full. They were turning people away. No pow for us, part two.

“This is our karma for putting snow before bros,” I said to the hub in disgust.

We skate skied at North Boulder Park instead — thank goodness the Boulder Nordic Club guys had groomed. It saved the day. Those guys are cultivating some good karma.

Me? I have jerk stain and could use a salt scrub. No more snow before bros.