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This is Denver band A. Tom Collins. They are bizarre, fascinating and oh-so-talented.
Courtesy photo
This is Denver band A. Tom Collins. They are bizarre, fascinating and oh-so-talented.

Mother may I drop my pants?

Aside from cream-colored ponies and crisp apple streudels; doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles; dropping my pants is my favorite thing.

Well, technically lifting my skirt — the only pants I own are fleece PJs. (My ass tattoo needs to breathe, much to the chagrin of my husband.)

I’ve mentioned Denver band A. Tom Collins before in this column. I am pimping them again because I want to be on them.

Back to the pants.

Friday, at the hi-dive, 7 S. Broadway, Denver, the uniquely quirky crew will have its “Pants Off Dance Off” video release party — its premiere. A. Tom Collins will perform, along with Miss America and Blue Rider.

Sid Pink — Denver’s version of, uh, Billy Bush(?) will host the party. Apologies, Mr. Pink. Hollywood’s Billy Bush is America’s version of Ryan Seacrest — whom we all know is Jesus’ version of the Fraggle, Convincing John. (Don’t make me spank you, children. Know your Fraggles.)

So, I like to remember that when the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I’m feeling sad … I simply remember to take off my pants, and then I don’t feel … so bad.

Info: Friday at 9 p.m.;; 720 570 4500; $11.

Drinks and docs

You had me at “bottomless.”

Unless it’s taxidermy, gin or water chestnuts…*

(Damn your gin, Tom Collins.)

Saturday at 10:30 a.m., the Denver FilmCenter/Colfax, 2510 E. Colfax, Denver, will have — patience, sweet chums — bottomless mimosas and brunch, followed by a private screening of the documentary about New York Times fashion photographer “Bill Cunningham New York.”

The film, surveying New York society, includes appearances from famed Vogue editor Anna Wintour, author/journalist Tom Wolfe, the late socialite Brooke Astor and oil tycoon heir David Rockefeller.

Mmm. Rich people. Call me.

Info: Saturday at 10:30 a.m.; $20; 303-595-3456.

*I know they have no flavor. They’re still gross.

Sporty spice

When NBA was on strike, we collectively decried, “screw you, fair masters.”

Yes, I’m speaking for you.

Then, the Nuggets started out at 14-5.

Then they lost 10 of 14 games.

However, those boys make it hard to hate them (especially now since Melo jumped ship. Again, I’m speaking for you.) Plus, we look good in baby blue.

If only Kenyon Martin would shut his hate hole; Nene, Gallinari, Fernandez and Lawson would get off the busted bench; and Andre Miller would keep his technicals in his pants, then we’ve got a comeback. Perhaps.

Watch the Nugs play the Spurs tonight at the Pepsi Center. Last time Denver faced the Western Conference rivals San Antonio, they lost. Boo. Go cheer them on tonight at 7 at the Pepsi Center, 1000 Chopper Cir., Denver.

Info: Tonight at 7; 303-405-1100.