Courtesy photo
Hear tunes dedicated to Mario and his slutty cousins in Denver this weekend. (Like Zelda doesn t sleep around.)

Nerds!

One of my beloved past ringtones was a Super Mario Bros. clip.

It wasn’t the above-ground-happy-dancing-Mario-twirling-Princess song. It was the underground dungeon song. The song for the skeleton turtles, the sheet ghosts and fireballs.

Don’t make me sing it.

Da-na-da-na-da-na. Da-na-da-na-da-na.

Fine. Go hear it from a symphony. Jerks.

Really. Go hear it from a symphony.

Friday, at Denver Performing Arts Complex’s Boettcher Hall, 1000 14th St., Denver, The Legend of Zelda: Symphony of the Goddesses will unleash its geekery with a slew of Ninendo classics via orchestra.

The shows often sell out. The tour is stopping in Denver Friday at 8 p.m., so throw on your Princess costume (the Luigi one makes your ass look fat) because many an attendee don cartoon disguises.

Info: Friday at 8 p.m.; zelda-symphony.com; $35-$125

Green envy

There’s a very green area nearby my house in Denver, but I tend to avoid it because I eat nitrates and guzzle my gas to and from Boulder five days a week.

Oh one day. One day when I feel bad for eating Bessie, Babe and Ralphie, or when I swap Marlboro Lights for organic weed — that one day I’ll feel at sustainable home with the Man of Green (Solar) Gables.

Anyway, the Zuni Hub, 2900 Zuni St., Denver, in the Highlands neighborhood is having its Grand Opening Party Friday from 3-8 p.m. The building, fully sustainable, is home to organic and environmental-loving business that want to teach you about their trade: Green Garage, Teatulia, Tea Bar, The Motherhood and Uptown 6.

There will be free food by local restaurants — Linger, Wooden Spoon, Rise & Shine, Spruce Confections, Haute Catering, Masterpiece Deli, Fuel and Elways. There will be free bevs from local breweries and bars as well as live music.

RSVP on Zuni Hub Grand Opening Party’s Facebook page.

Info: Friday 3 p.m.-8 p.m.; Zuni Hub, 2900 Zuni St., Denver; free

Raunchy ‘toons

Destination avant garde. That’s what Spike and Mike Twisted Animation Festival has been called.

Long story short, it’s a storied animation festival (Spike and Mike launched “Beavis and Butthead” back in the day) that not only garners big names in the industry, but also a slew of raunchy ‘toons that will make your thong blush.

Or as Robin Williams called the festival, “Disney with tits.”

Spike and Mike develop a new “Twisted” show each summer — which acts as a home to the racy animated adult pieces — and premiere it at San Diego’s Comic-Con, then subsequently tours 50 cities.

Catch the show at the Beauty Bar, 608 E. 13th Ave., Denver, Friday and Saturday nights and support those up-and-coming animators whose potty pencils illustrate that fair raunch we love.

Then dance party it up, because that’s what they do at the Beauty Bar. After you get a mani/pedi, obviously.

Info: Friday and Saturday 8:30 p.m.; thebeautybar.com; 720-542-8024; free

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