FILE - In this file photo dated Saturday, Feb. 26, 2011 Britain's Pippa Middleton, arrives at the wedding of the Duke and Duchess of Northumberland's eldest daughter Lady Katie Percy to city financier Patrick Valentine at St Michael's Church in Alnwick, England. Pippa Middleton went to Paris for a friend's birthday party and the British media are agog over an alleged gun flashed at paparazzi by one of her companions. Paris police say they've received no complaint and are not investigating, Tuesday, 17 April, 2012. (AP Photo/Scott Heppell, File)
SCOTT HEPPELL
FILE – In this file photo dated Saturday, Feb. 26, 2011 Britain’s Pippa Middleton, arrives at the wedding of the Duke and Duchess of Northumberland’s eldest daughter Lady Katie Percy to city financier Patrick Valentine at St Michael’s Church in Alnwick, England. Pippa Middleton went to Paris for a friend’s birthday party and the British media are agog over an alleged gun flashed at paparazzi by one of her companions. Paris police say they’ve received no complaint and are not investigating, Tuesday, 17 April, 2012. (AP Photo/Scott Heppell, File)

S ounds like a Thursday at your mom’s house: people in spiked dog collars, a dwarf, scanty lingerie and a near-naked “nun.”

Then there was Pippa Middleton.

(But not at La Casa de Your Mother. We didn’t invite her. We think she’s overrated.)

The black sheep sister to the Duchess of Cambridge attended a Parisian costume party over the weekend and the released photos are causing a bit of stir over at Buckingham Palace.

“A lot of the world considers that she (Pippa) is royal, and by association what she does has an influence on the royal family,” said Ingrid Seward, editor of Majesty magazine, told the Associated Press.

Pippa, despite the fact that your name bothers me, allow my help.

Stand on whatever clichéd British monument and proclaim “Piss off.” You aren’t a royal, ergo, you can attend whatever sadomasochism soiree you wish.

“It’s very damaging for her, it’s a totally irresponsible, stupid thing to do,” said Max Clifford, a British public relations guru.

To go to a party at age 28? Max, suck on a Xanax.

Inking the aged

Kelsey Grammer, 57, just got his first tramp stamp.

The former “Frasier” star was in Chicago and decided to get “Kayte Walsh Grammer” on his pelvis (dude’s tramp stamp) — thus assuming his fourth bride, 30, will stick around before he croaks.

The tattoo artist’s granny, 72, apparently stopped by the shop and met the actor.

“They were just normal people,” she said. “We were talking about tattoos. He said, ‘I’m going to get Kayte’s name.’ … I figured with his background he should just put a ‘K’ with a period to give him some flexibility.”

Grandma worked Grammer.

Brangel… yawn…

When I read the Brangelina engagement news, I completed a three-step process.

One: Didn’t care.

Two: Anger! Brad Pitt is reversing a statement that he made last year that made me feel furry inside. Like I’m the fox and he’s the hound. Ahem.

“I’ve said, ‘We would not be getting married until everyone in this country had the right to get married,'” Brad Pitt told Ellen DeGeneres. “We live in this great country that is about freedoms — defined by our freedoms and equality — and yet we allow this discrimination to go on everyday. That’s not what we’re about.”

(My fancy was struck.)

Three: Annoyed. Apparently the matrimony step is for the kids.

Four: Back to one.

Oh em gee, did you see that ring?

Me neither, but I bet it could buy Russia a drink.