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Shit’s awry with Yonce and Z. (We’re tight.)
Social media panic attacked when Beyonce — at a Cincinnati show on Monday — changed her song lyrics to reportedly link Jay-Z to some cheating ways. She was also dressed in an all-white getup, complete with veil, fueling the storm.
But, the couple is on tour together — so he was stage left.
However, just in case, wagging-finger, bouncing-booty, bobbleheaded Bey keeps a foaming-at-the-mouth Solange caged stage right.
Shit will go down.
All the single ladies
A Fox News reporter opened his mouth. This should paint a vibrant enough picture, but I’ll keep typing.
After proudly tweeting about getting kicked out of a National Organization for Women’s Conference on Monday (he asked a female attendee to feel his bicep among other harassment-filled commentary), Jesse Watters called single women who depend on government checks “Beyonce Voters” on Tuesday. You know — the ones who “depend on government because they’re not depending on their husbands,” he said.
Then he went to the men’s room to get a tugjob from a fat old republican. (Ohhhh Reilly.)
Psst, Watters. Your bicep is leaking. Plug it with a Kotex.
Stars getting starstruck
You know when you wave at someone and they don’t see you? So you try again and they still don’t respond? Then you holler their name and they keep walking?
That happened to Hillary Duff when trying to get Jonah Hill’s attention in Beverly Hills on Sunday.
You know when you spot someone you don’t want to talk to, waving at you? So you pretend not to see them and start heading the opposite way? Then they follow you, calling out your name and you start walking faster?
That totally happened to Jonah Hill when some dumb Disney Channel bitch tried to pretend like she knew him.
Former Playmate Kendra Wilkinson apparently threw her wedding ring in the toilet, her wedding photos in the pool and her fist through some walls when she found out Hank Baskett cheated on her with a transgender YouTube model Ava Sabrina London, according to Us Weekly.
YouTube has models?
Robin Thicke, 37, and Paula Patton, 38, are split and Thicke won’t shut the hell up about reconciling. He named his latest album Paula, and on Sunday, before a BET Awards performance he dedicated a song to her, pleading, “I miss you, and I’m sorry.”
Then, unsupportive fans attacked the singer’s alleged infidelity as #AskThicke trended:
#AskThicke Did you really write a rape anthem as a love song for your wife and are you still wondering why she left you?
Maybe he is cheating. His album is probably dedicated to Paula Deen. That slut.
Who will save her soul?
Jewel (the singer) and her rodeo husband Ty Murray are getting divorced after six years of marriage and 16 years as a couple.
Maybe she just realized that her husband’s job entails tying bull’s nuts together and bouncing on their spines like a primitive heathen.
Or maybe he realized she’s so 1997.
Or maybe we realized we don’t care.