Caleb Dennis channeling Alice Cooper.
Caleb Dennis channeling Alice Cooper.

Caleb Dennis has been writing “The Scene” for the Colorado Daily for several months now and we’ve learned these three things about him:

• He plays guitar

• He’s not a fan of electronic music

• He can’t stand Chad Kroeger.

(The latter: I think we all understand.)

But let’s learn more…

Tell us something juicy that we don’t already know about you.

Something juicy, eh? Not too much about my life really constitutes as juicy…. I’m obsessed with music, I always have been, and I always wanted to be a rockstar. So sometimes, to this day, I carry on conversations with myself where I pretend I am talking to a reporter about my latest album.

If you could be the lead guitarist of one band, who would it be?

Eddie Van Halen. “Eruption” is the solo every guitarist wants to play from stage. Simply put, he’s an epic guitarist.

What is the best concerts you’ve ever been to?

That’s hard. My top four are probably Rush at The Pepsi Center, Kings of Leon at Red Rocks, Coldplay at The Hollywood Bowl and Snow Patrol at London’s O2 Arena.

If you had to go to dinner with Chad Kroeger, what advice would you give him? If you had to bring him a present, what would it be?

I would tell him to end Nickelback. The crimes the group has committed against music listeners are far too great, and now its time for him to turn himself in. But, I believe that there’s always a good solution to every problem, and because of that I would give him the gift of Auto-Tune, and a wardrobe that’ll help him resemble Alien from “Spring Breakers.” I would recommend that he start making shitty electronic music, because the kids will love him again, and because I stay out of said genre, I won’t hear it. Perfect solution.

What do you do with your time when you aren’t writing about music for the Colorado Daily?

I like to go to concerts and the mountains, especially when I can do so with my lovely girlfriend Hannah. Spending time with her, in general, is my favorite thing to do. Traveling is also a big hobby of mine. I just started getting into beer making and I love it. Along with that, I’m a sports watcher. Avs games are by far my favorite.

Tell us where your favorite spot is in Boulder to park your ass.

I. Love. Avery. I’m a gigantic beer snob, and yes, there’s a lot of good beers all over Boulder, but nobody beats Avery.

What is your life mantra? You have to use a ridiculous movie quote.

“I don’t know how to put this but I’m kind of a big deal. People know me. I’m very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany,” Will Ferrell in “Anchorman.”

What advice would you give a CU student who hates electronic music? What about one who only has Florida Georgia Line in their music library?

I would tell the kid that hates electronic music that they are in the right. That’s probably the person I could spend the most time talking to about music, because I believe they are actually able to listen to and appreciate music — something I don’t understand how you can do with electronic. And the kid who only listens to Florida Georgia Line could absolutely learn how to like music. I’d expose them to southern rock of all kinds over the last couple decades. Florida Georgia Line is actually pretty good, to my surprise, but they are regurgitated products of southern rock.

If you could sit belly-up to the bar with one musician, who would it be and why?

Andrew McMahon of Something Corporate. As a musician, I’ve always wanted to create something in a similar piano-driven pop-rock style, and he just does it the best. I would love to pick his brain.

Pretend you can see the future. What will music be like in 2025? Will we all be walking around in Moon Boots and gold spandex?

Music will be terrible. It will be all electronic and Auto-Tune. People will have forgotten what guitars are. I’ll probably just stay away from it and become super hipster and listen to “indie.” And I’m pretty sure it’ll be all gold everything. That seems spot on.

Caleb Dennis’ “The Scene” runs every Thursday on Colorado Daily’s Page 3.