April showers bring May flowers, and we have been prepared for what’s to come by the flood of One Direction fans’ tears. If you’re like me and don’t really care what all the preteen girls listen to these days, let me update you on recent preteen-core happenings. Zayn Malik has left One Direction. Yes, he left, as in he quit the band. I know what you’re thinking because it’s the exact same thing I thought when I found out: OMG.
After I spent 30 seconds recovering from the news, I spent about a good hour thinking about who should replace Zayn, his perfect hair and his stunning facial features.
It took me a minute to even comprehend who else could possibly match him, especially in those categories, but then I realized, “oh yeah, totes Nicholas Cage or Tom Hanks!”
If you’re not following yet, let me explain and I’m sure you will end up on either Team Hanks or Team Cage.
Cage makes sense. One Direction is all about style, and who better to give them that extra finesse than good-old buddy Nick. One thing is for sure: He never turns down a role. And although he has the least experience out of the two at being a pop star, I think it would be surprising to many to see how well he would actually do.
At the age of 51, he is ready for a career reinvention, not a convertible. Unfortunately, the actor hasn’t starred in a movie that was great for quite a while now, so there couldn’t be a better time for him to show us his secret singing and dancing skills.
So, two of the three aspects of what makes a perfect pop star have yet to be seen. We know the actor can look pretty, but his singing and dancing skills are undetermined, but every time I watch him on screen, I get a strong sense that said skills are there.
At the same time Hanks makes just as much sense, and is a little bit more seasoned when it comes to his association with pop music.
If you aren’t making the correlation yet, then it’s possible you have yet to experience the magic that is Hanks’ recent appearance in pop-star Carly Rae Jepsen’s music video for “I Really Like You.”
When reading through the YouTube comments, many saw the addition of Hanks to the video as odd and slightly creep, but I disagree. In the three-and-a-half minute Justice store playlist anthem, I saw a lot of potential in the movie star for a lucrative pop career.
In the video, Hanks danced up a storm and showed that he can follow choreography very well — and he was lipsinging to Jepsen’s song throughout. Honestly, if I didn’t know better, I would have been convinced he was singing the song.
It truly is surprising to realize that Hanks is not only a talented actor, but also a potential pop star. So, run Forest, run… into the currently vacant fifth spot of One Direction.
So time to choose: Team Cage or Team Hanks? Either of the pair will make a fantastic addition to the group, but the aging actors better act fast. Time is of the essence when it comes to staying relevant.
Caleb Dennis: twitter.com/TheWriterCalebD