I’m sorry, my lovelies, about missing our date last week. A family emergency swept me up to South Dakota, leaving Editor to cover my slacking ass.

But then I found myself in Austin, boozing away my sorrows with a longtime pal. And I made it my mission to order only Texas craft beers each time the barkeep came around. When in Rome, and all that shit.

Well … that lasted roughly three beers before I realized Texas isn’t exactly a craft beer hub.

In my foxy Colorado, you can settle in at a bar, order a different craft brew each time, and be carted off by a pissed-off DD, puking in your safe ride, before you reach the end of your options. In Texas, you get a few and then turn to, “Well, OK I guess that’s it. Give me the Fat Tire.”

Silly Texas.

Don’t worry, Drunk Alex discovered the Lone Star’s vodka of choice — Deep Eddy — and ended up face-down on my pal’s couch with his dog silently judging me.

This weekend, my mission is to soak up all that is Colorado craft beauty while my hair lays styled and straight in our nice, dry air. (I was perm-tastic that whole visit, coated in a sheen of “it’s always balls-hot” humidity. So happy to be home.)

It seems my pals at Fate Brewery are eager to help in my quest, releasing their Watermelon Kolsch down in Denver (at Star Bar 2137 Larimer St.) on Friday, and up in their Boulder home (1600 38th St.). All in honor of the Rockies’ opening day, of course.

(I’ll be cheering them on Saturday, when tickets are “I’m a broke-ass, twenty-something journalist” prices.)

Won’t make it to Coors Field? Well folks at West Flanders Brewing (1125 Pearl St.) hope to make you feel right at baseball-loving home. They’re serving up a Brooklyn Dog made with a pork frankfurter, house sauerkraut, giardiniera salsa, cheddar cheese and housemade Angry Monk Mustard. Pair that with their Hoffmeister Pilsner and you’ll be singing a very well-fed tune.

I’d also encourage you to sneak over to Wild Woods Brewery (5460 Conestoga Ct.) on Friday and see if they have any gin-barrel-aged Treeline IPA left. They’ve taken their year-round brew and aged it a bit in gin barrels for extra flavor. Lucky for you, all their beers will make you happy, so you needn’t weep if they’re out.

Now, Austin does do music well. Like there’s kick-ass tunes pouring out of every bar along the Dirty Six. But hey, Boulder’s a good competitor. Check out Sacrebleu! at the Bohemian Biergarten (2017 13th St.) on Friday at 9 p.m., for example. A good chance to sway to Euro-style gypsy jazz beats.

Or hey, Policulture — a seven-piece Boulder reggae band — will be hitting Conor O’Neill’s (1322 13th St.) stage Friday at 10 p.m. They even have CU roots to make all you black-‘n’-golders happy.

Looking for a chance to stare at Benedict Cumberbatch’s face for a few hours? Head to CHEM 140 at 9 p.m. this Friday, where your Program Council is hosting a free screening of “The Imitation Game.” Cheers to free popcorn.

And hey, the laughs are happening over at The Dairy Center for the Arts (2590 Walnut St.) this Friday at 7:30 p.m. Front deRanged Improv Comedy Troupe is bringing their improvisational chuckles in hopes of making you piss yourselves. Aww that’s sweet.

Wow, all the Friday events. Don’t worry, places sell beer the rest of the weekend too. Happy boozing.

Alexandra Sieh:,

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