John Leyba / The Denver Post
So remember last week, when this blubber baby rambled on about how much she loved newspapers and her coworkers and had an in-print meltdown?
I got my shit together. No more of that.
But I do have some news.
In about, oh, five weeks, this die-hard Coloradan is moving away. To Beijing. For one year.
And since I made this decision only a month ago, I’ve been in panic mode about fitting in all the craft beer drinking I can. Because, well, China isn’t exactly the craft hub of the world. And while I relish the idea of what I’ve been promised as dirt-cheap hard alcohol, it’ll be a long time before I kick back with a frosty Colorado craft.
Enter my frantic dash across the Front Range to consume ALLTHECRAFTBEER.
Seriously. I’m writing this from the patio of one such Boulder brewery, sipping on a flight and soaking up the sun.
(Oh, uh, Editor … I mean, I’m diligently tucked away in a distraction-less room typing up an eloquently written, completely appropriate … fuckit, I love beer.)
What I’ve realized, facing down my 40 days left of this heaven:
•Craft beer always hits the spot.
•You can’t get away with never working out when you drink this many calories. (Excuse me while I adjust my belt to accommodate my newly acquired, super hot beer belly. Down, boys, I’ll be with you once I wrap up this India Red Ale …)
•There’s no way to say “Na, I don’t have any plans,” when surrounded by this much good beer. Just put your big boy/girl pants — now with elastic bands for the upped booze consumption — and sip alone.
Speaking of beer — as if I ever stop — Avery Brewing (4910 Nautilus Ct.) is releasing III Dolia No. 29 on Sunday, as part of its barrel-aged series. It’s described as “a blend from the rarest and most expensive barrels we’ve ever filled.” I’m sold. It’s a rich, nutty, oaky sour that’ll only be available to those who stop by.
The 7th annual Jul-IPA Festival returns Saturday, thanks to The West End Tavern (926 Pearl St.) and Millennium Hotel (1345 28th St.) where it’s held. From noon-4 p.m., sip your way through all sorts of delish IPAs, and savor those taste-bud-slapping hops. All proceeds go to Safehouse Progressive Alliance for Nonviolence. Info: www.jul-ipa.com.
Hoping to justify boozing more than proclaiming slurred-speech love to a tequila bottle? Saturday, Twisted Pine Brewing Co. (3201 Walnut St.) will give you a chance to have your imbibing help equine therapy group, Horses Make Miracles. Ten percent of the proceeds will be donated to that kick-ass cause, plus, Peter Garland and Friends will perform from 7 to 9 p.m.
Boulder Beer (2880 Wilderness Pl.) is turning 36! Let us all raise our cups for a drunken birthday serenade, and thank the crew for making 26 seem young! To celebrate, the brewery is inviting us for an incredible lineup of brews and live music — including headliners Funkiphino. The beers sound awesome — how often can you sip on Honey Basil Don’t Give a Shit, or get your lips on Jilted Lover … uhh … anyway, head over. You may catch a glimpse of said China-bound columnist in the crowd. Info: boulderbeer.com.
Let’s pretend I’m gonna try to work off all these beer pounds. This weekend’s just the ticket for the beer-motivated. Rocky Mountain Brew Runs are back, teaming up with that same birthday-brew Boulder Beer Co. Check out for the full details, but know that you just have to run a 5K and they’ll give you a beer to reward the effort.