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Ralphie the Buffalo is a gorgeous one, isn't she?
Karl Gehring / The Denver Post
Ralphie the Buffalo is a gorgeous one, isn’t she?

When you were a wee lass and lassie, you had dreams of riding Ralphie’s back through Folsom Field.

Now the day has arrived. You’re a Buff.

Newbies, let’s discuss. In order for you to survive the land where the Buffalo roam, we need to teach you some of the particulars.

Drink up this info, gathered by the help of colorado.edu:

Run, Ralphie, Run

No. 1, Ralphie is a girl.

She always gets mistaken for a dude, but now that you’re a bona-fide Buff, you need to know your mascot’s sex.

No. 2, Ralphie is often touted as one of the best live mascots ever. That’s awesome. We have a live buffalo that leads the team out on Folsom Field before every home game.

Don’t worry, she won’t stampede all up in your face. The Ralphie Handlers — CU student athletes — keep an eye (and a tight leash) on our fuzzy girl.

The first run of dear sweet Ralphie was in 1934 against the University of Denver, where a buffalo calf was rented from a local ranch.

And now DU doesn’t have a football team. These times, they are a-changing.

Chip-a-licious

Chip is our faux-fuzzed costumed buffalo who represents as our No. 1 spirited homie. He’s the one doing the flips, cheers, push-ups and all that jazz.

Do not throw Chip by the Ralphie wayside. He was crowned the mascot national champion a couple times over the recent years.

Hail Chip.

Pac-12

The Buffs left the Big 12 Conference in July 2011, when the conferences got together over vats of whiskey, threw every NCAA Division I team in a Yahtzee cup, shook it up and placed them wherever the hell we all landed.

Fine that’s not how it went, but what an image.

What does this mean for you? Well, not too much. Getting used to new rivals, letting go of old grudges. Giving Nebraska a swift kick in the tush because they’re stuck in the Big 12 with Kansas and Texas.

Plus, Nebraska sucks.

Black and gold

Pants-splitting news: CU’s official colors are silver and gold.

Um. What?

Before you ransack your new collegiate wardrobe, calm down and let me tell you a ripping-fine yarn: The silver and gold apparently represented the rich minerals of our fair state. Alas the colors looked ridiculous as uniforms (one can imagine), hence the black and gold.

Be a fan of being a fine fan

It’s no secret that us Buffs have preconceived tainted images outside of the Buff bubble.

But who doesn’t really? I call it jealousy because we’re awesome.

The fact of the matter is, we have new and old rivals. Words at games and tailgating debates are inevitable. However, let’s try to keep our cool by being fair fans.

Next time you want to chuck a full Solo cup at a CSU Ram, just remember: at least we aren’t Rams.

Suckers.

So, fellow Buffaloes, keep the pride alive, the indecent exposure down and above all… Go Buffs!

Christy Fantz: twitter.com/fantzypants