My longtime boyfriend just came into some inheritance and he wants to open a craft brewery in Colorado. I’m apprehensive because there are so many breweries and I think it will be a waste of an investment. I don’t want to rain on his dreams, but I think it’s a bad idea. Should I tell him the truth?
—Hopeless for Hops
If the cash was for both of you, then you could deflate his dream. But it’s his endowment, so you can either hop on, or beat his ego.
Like the ’90s dot-com and the teens’ pot-com, this recent craft-beer boom has been snorting steroids with a fire hose. You can’t throw a blunt without hitting a roll-up garage door, rustic lighting or stainless steel siding. So, the competition is out there. Craft beer is the new sliced beard. Sliced bread. Beard? Ahem.
Instead of busting up his bandwagon, be his support, offer him tips, brainstorm ideas. He’ll need to jump far ahead of the trend to survive. But, until Obama and Jesus tell us there’s gunpowder in our hops, we’ll be deep-throating sours, sessions, saisons and such. Like pharmaceuticals and distilleries, beer won’t go out of style.
With your support, if he becomes successful, he’ll thank you with a lush bank account. Or he’ll leave you for his bartender.
I met this girl who’s been around the block. She’s comfortable talking about it and she’s proven to me that she’s disease-free, but I’m worried that my lack of experience will either destroy the sex, or that I’ll someday get angry and jealous about her past.
Get a Grip:
Which block? I see everything and I haven’t seen her in my hood.
Don’t worry about lack of experience. That will come with communication, good-ol’ practice and orgasm-starved talk over angry coffee.
Plus, all that porn archived in your memory is sure to have some tips and tricks. (Control+F “woman pleasing” in your memory.porn and follow prompts.)
You should be worried about future lingering anger and jealousy over a past in which you never existed. Whoever she did before you met shouldn’t be of emotional concern.
Now, once genitals hug, connections click and a toothbrush moves in, then inevitably much of the past will become some of the future. You’re likely to icebreak with prior tales of life. This is good. You’ll learn depth, quirks, richness and black holes of each other. It’s exciting, but it can be unsavory when qualities and morals clash. The test of the relationship is to move past that and focus on a future.
What happens before Day 1 of you two has nothing to do with you. You’ll hear about her past at times and help her sift through lingering joy or pain — but you cannot hold any of this against her.
If you can’t do this, you need to kick rocks. Insecurity can be a detriment to happy, and she doesn’t deserve outside anger about her past. You may need to massage, rub and squeeze your insecurity before you dive into a relationship that you’re already wary of.