• Burness

  • Shaun Stanley / The Denver Post

    Let's get our kicks on the water couch now while we're still young and radiantly good looking.



If you’re like me, you’ve got a really, really, objectively beautiful face, with a winning personality to match.

But if you’re like me, you’re also prone to making the critical mistake of too often passing on chances to get outside and relish the insanely plentiful recreational opportunities our lovely state offers.

Here, I will advocate for a simple approach that I myself have never followed: Any time anyone invites you to do something outdoors and you aren’t busy, say yes.

I have literally never once regretted a ski day or a hike or a camping trip, and I’m guessing, if you’re like me, you haven’t either.

If you’re like me, I’m guessing that nothing feels better to you than the downhill morning drive from a campsite, your clothes thick with bonfire scent and your stomach sluggish with grilled zucchini.

I’m also guessing that your beautiful green eyes are reading this right now and relating to the previous sentence, as the quarter-moon rises and soaks your already-luminous skin in a soft glow.

So what is it that keeps us stunners on the couch, when we really should be on the water couch?

“Water couch,” by the way, is a widely used local slang term for “river raft.” If you’re new around here, you should start saying it often and in public, because everyone will get it and also respect your command of Boulder vocabulary.

If you’re like me, when you decline chances to get outside, it’s because doing nothing is just a whole lot easier. Why get up at 6 a.m. to exhaust yourself on a difficult climb — one in which sweat beads are sure to be dropping constantly from your perfect forehead onto your long, naturally lush eyelashes — when you can sleep and eat and watch TV?

Because being outdoors makes you feel good, every time, period. That’s why.

The outdoors awaken the spirit and reset the mind. They gently caress the heart and make out for hours with the sense of adventure.

You and I must keep this in mind in the future, because if you’re living in Colorado and not going outside all the time, you’re doing it wrong.

Someday, these pretty faces of ours are going to get wretched and wrinkly, and we might be sitting on rockers wondering why we didn’t go on more hikes or water-couch down the mighty Colorado.

But we hold it in our silken, exquisitely shaped hands to reverse course and start doin’ stuff more, natural world-wise.

So let’s you and I make a pact.

We’re gonna say yes every time someone invites us to do something outside.

We’re gonna hydrate and apply sunscreen regularly.

And we’re gonna look extremely good doing it.

Alex Burness:

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