POINT BARROW, Ala. — A polar bear who has repeatedly denied that he is a polar bear has lashed out against a standup comedian who, during the Arctic Circle Press Correspondents’ Dinner on Saturday, took multiple shots at the bear’s claims.
The bear announced on his twitter account @ImNotAPolarBear that the comedian, a wolf, had crossed the line when she joked during her monologue that the bear is, in fact, a bear.
“I’ve said multiple times that I’M NOT A POLAR BEAR but #FakeArcticNews continues to lie. Also, wolf not funny, total hack!!!! Worst correspondents monologue ever,” the bear said.
The bear has on multiple occasions denied he is a polar bear, even though he is off white, weighs 1,500 pounds, has lots of sharp teeth and claws and has been photographed on multiple occasions in the company of other polar bears. When reached for comment on Wednesday, the bear said “Fake news. I’m not a polar bear. You’re a polar bear.”
The wolf also joked about the bear’s press secretary, a snowshoe hare, and a majority of the jokes involved snowshoe hares not actually wearing snowshoes. While the correspondents’ dinner has generated controversy in the past — the Alaskan malamute monologue is a notable example — some members of the arctic media say the wolf’s comments went too far.
“Really, we are all here to celebrate the First Amendment and joke about the sometimes contentious relationship between the arctic press and the polar bear,” said a snowy owl reporter who has been in several past heated exchanges with the bear.
“This really goes beyond the pale,” the owl said. “It’s never OK to make fun of a snowshoe hare not having any snowshoes, even if it’s true.”
Numerous journalists were quick to criticize the snowy owl’s comments, among them a fat, facetious black bear from Colorado who appears to have gotten lost and ended up in the arctic.
“It’s ironic that a journalist, in this case a snowy owl, would stand up for an snowshoe hare who has gone out of the way to lie to the public and constantly attack the Arctic Press,” the black bear said. “I mean, come on, the polar bear is a polar bear. It’s so obvious. Why is this even up for debate?”
During a campaign speech inside an igloo that coincided with the correspondents’ dinner, the polar bear lashed out at the arctic media and made numerous unsubstantiated and false claims, mostly about seals.
The bear spent nearly three hours saying one sentence that never appeared to end and was mostly about how he is not a polar bear.
“Let me tell you, the fake Arctic news, they love, and their are a lot of them here,” the bear said, pointing at the rear of the igloo. “They will love to tell you, and there are a lot of them, believe me. They will tell you I’m a polar bear, but it’s just not true. I’m not a polar bear. You’re a polar bear.”