Hey, did you get your flu shot? Are you tired of me telling you what to do? Well buckle up, buttercup, because I’m just getting started. This week, unsurprisingly, I’m here to compel you to vote. Stop reading, and go turn in your ballot. Go. Now.

“But Liz,” you say to yourself, “I don’t have time. My kids have soccer, and I have SoulCycle. I can’t possibly fill out this very long, three-page ballot.” To that I say, you’ve had this ballot for weeks, darling. In most places, people still have to wait in line for hours to vote in person. Many states have purged voter records or put restrictive ID rules in place that disenfranchise voters of all stripes, but especially low-income and minority voters. Colorado makes voting super easy. We have drive-up locations, for Christ’s sake. There are absolutely no excuses.

“But Liz,” you say, “I am a rich, cis, straight, white dude (or adjacent to one). It doesn’t change my life whether my guy is elected or not.” To that I say, sweet mother of hubris, take me home! It matters. Believing it doesn’t matter means you’re resting on some serious laurels. Maybe you work for a bank or a start-up, or you own property. But 1929, 1987 and 2007 are here to remind you that the rug can be pulled out from under you at any time. You, my wealthy white friends, are not safe from what is happening. Just because it hasn’t hit you yet doesn’t mean it won’t.

“But Liz,” you say, “I don’t like any of the candidates, I’m not going to just vote for the lesser of two evils.” Vote anyway! Do it! I’m sorry to be the one to tell you, but if 2016 taught us anything, it is that if you do not choose the lesser of the evils, then you are actively supporting the eviler of the evils. Don’t be evil. Don’t support evil. You’re better than that!

You should be able to support your dream candidate; I want that for you. But you know when the time to do that is? The primary. We’re past that now, my sweet. It’s time to make your choice from the people who are on the ballot in front of you. They may not be inspiring, they may not tug at your heartstrings, but they are your options.

Not voting, or casting a protest vote, is a choice of extreme privilege. And it’s not one the rest of the world can afford right now. If you care about clean water, migrant children, police violence, student loans, health care, reproductive freedom, public education, LGBTQ+ rights, the free press or, you know, democracy, then it is your job to vote and to vote for the best possible choice on the ballot.

Voting isn’t always fun and rewarding, but it is the absolute bare minimum that you can do as a citizen of this country. Besides, you get a sticker. So get out there! Do the bare minimum! Get a sticker!

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