And now my impression of three cable television writers coming up with ideas for a show about a female journalist.

“So I think we open with our protagonist going down on the mayor in his BMW,” said Rick as he drank his seventh Keurig Cafe Mocha that morning.

“Oh, I really like that,” chimed in Bruce, who was teasing out his 5-inch off-the-chin beard. “It shows that she’s driven, ready to do anything to get a story. Maybe afterward, we can have her cry or something because she’s so passionate about her work.”

“I think our women viewers will really identify with that,” said Dave as he sank into his overstuffed bean bag chair. “She’s empowered. She knows what she wants. But, you know, a woman.”

“OK, so we are good with the interview-slash-BJ opening scene,” Rick said as he sucked the last bit of foam out of his coffee cup. “I’m thinking our heroine will be wearing a button-down shirt that really shows off her tits.”

“Agreed,” Bruce said. “You know I really liked ‘Spotlight,’ but why the hell did they have Rachel McAdams wearing those frumpy clothes. Girl is scorching hot. I think they really missed a good opportunity to have her bang a priest, too.”

“That was a good movie, but I couldn’t help but think that they really needed the woman reporter to bang someone,” Rick said. “How are you going to have a movie with a woman reporter if she doesn’t have sex with one of her sources? That’s just bad story telling.”

“OK, so after we have our reporter perform a sexual favor on a source, she gets the story,” Bruce said, his palms outstretched like he was framing a shot. “We then have to have her go, I don’t know, visit her kid she lost custody of because she’s so career driven …”

“You know,” interrupted Rick, “I’m thinking we have her go back to the newspaper or the TV station or wherever it is she works and bang her boss.”

“Oh, I like this,” said Bruce, sliding further down on his beanbag chair.

“Right?” Rick said. “I’m just thinking that if she has sex with her editor, that shows that she’s a real team player. Maybe the editor is doubting the newsworthiness of her story and by having sex with him, she shows that she really believes in her work.”

“Plus who doesn’t want to see that ill-fitting shirt come off, am I right?” said a now grinning Bruce.

Rick and Bruce high five. Dave was suddenly pensive.

“You know, guys,” he began. “I’ve actually known several woman journalists. And they were all really hard working and would never sleep with a source. I’m thinking we should maybe call up a few of them and ask them about their work. At the end of the day, I just want to tell a story that does justice to the subject.”

Cut to: Dave being tossed out the front door.

Read more Bear: coloradodaily.com/columnists. Stalk him: twitter.com/johnbearwithme

blog comments powered by Disqus