1:19 a.m. — Well, that was a good weekend. I’m really tired, and it’s getting so hard to keep my eyes open to read this book, which is an entertaining read. I should get a good night’s rest and start off the week right. It’s important for my mental well being. Good night!

Bear

2:01 a.m. — Hmmm. It seems like I should be asleep by now. It’s been like 40 minutes. Ouch, the cat just jumped on my face to get to the window well. That’s weird. I’m kind of a long way away from the window well. It seems like she did that to be a jerk.

2:56 a.m. — Well, this is starting to get lame. Like I could barely keep my eyes open to read a book. Now I feel like I’ve got an electrical cord attached to my head. Don’t get upset. That won’t ever help. It is weird though, like I could barely …

3:38 a.m. … keep my eyes open to read a book. Wow, how long have I been lying here. I’ll get up and get some water and maybe a piece of cheese. That should help. It seems like I can’t sleep in the summer. But I can’t sleep in the winter, either. Totally true. Oh, my god. It’s almost 4. Well, I can still get six hours of sleep. I don’t have to get up until 10. If I fall asleep in 20 minutes, that’s six hours. Six hours is good.

4:01 a.m. — The cat is standing on my head. Why? And she just jumped into the window well again. Go to sleep, Kitty.

4:44 a.m. — All the numbers on the clock are the same. Make a wish.

4:58 a.m. — This isn’t fair, goddamnit. I exercised. I kept sugar down to a minimum. I read for 90 minutes instead of watching the TV. What the hell is this shit? Can I have one good night’s sleep a month?

4:45 a.m. — Man, I hear the birds. I know my mind is telling me that chirping is a pretty sound. But right now, it’s the worst screeching noise. I feel like a vampire watching the sunrise. Oh well, I only have to work six hours today. Then I can come home and go to bed. I won’t, but whatever.

5:15 a.m. — The sunlight is coming through the blinds. I hate the sunlight. I need to nail some blankets to the wall over the windows.

6:03 a.m. — Get off me, you goddamned cat. That’s why you sleep all day? So you can do this to me? How’s about the next time you jump on my face, you’re going outside. Forever.

7:14 a.m. — I’m so tired. I feel like I got my ass kicked by an outlaw motorcycle club.

8:14 a.m. — Is the cat seriously biting my feet right now?

9 a.m. — Fine. I give up. Long shower. An extra pot of coffee. I’ve done it before. This can’t be good for me.


Read more Bear: coloradodaily.com/columnists. Stalk him: twitter.com/johnbearwithme

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