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Can you be a Pandemic Pothead? Take this quiz

If you pass, check out the list of local dispensaries and pipe shops

Clara Romain, left, and Sophia Frohardt shop for marijuana at Terrapin Care Station in Boulder in January.
File photo
Clara Romain, left, and Sophia Frohardt shop for marijuana at Terrapin Care Station in Boulder in January.

Crazy little fact about Colorado, we like our weed, maybe you’ve heard.

In 2012, Coloradans made their love affair with cannabis official and passed Amendment 64. It allows Colorado residents 21 and older (with a government-issued ID) to legally possess 1 ounce of marijuana or THC. Out-of-state visitors and students 21 or older can purchase up to a quarter-ounce. 

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Be sure to ask a local budtender about dosage and safety of consuming weed.

But, just like with everything else this year, The Rona had to come and ruin our good time. Now, you have to be careful who you share a joint with, how you split your edibles, who you cough around and for Christ’s sake: wear a fucking mask to the dispensary. 

Take this quiz to earn your degree in Pandemic Potheadology. If you fail, sorry, you’re not allowed to toke up until we have a vaccine.

Which of these places is a safe and legal place to smoke pot and get high?

  1. My vehicle while driving
  2. Walking around Boulder with friends
  3. My CU dorm room 
  4. In a private home or rental property that allows cannabis usage

Answer: 4. Don’t think because Colorado loves weed that everyone wants to smell your skunky joint. To wit: cannabis use is illegal in public spaces. And DEFINITELY don’t get stoned and then drive. Know your limits, be safe and don’t be a dumbass.

There are myriad and expanding ways to get high on cannabis nowadays. If you’ve only ever smoked some ill-gotten dirt weed in your high school days, you might be tempted to try THC suspended in chocolate, gummies, tinctures, seltzer waters, lemonades and lollipops. How should you approach marijuana edibles?

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Back in the day, Mary Jane lovers would congregate on the CU campus every year on 4/20, giving campus leaders and local law enforcement collective panic attacks. Since weed has become legal, the annual skunky party has phased itself out.
  1. Try gummies for the first time with a handful that a stranger hands you at a party
  2. Carefully by reading the packaging and asking a budtender about dosage
  3. Eat an entire THC chocolate bar because you read the package, but that can’t be right, can it?
  4. Slowly sip a whole bottle of THC lemonade in class

Answer: B. Marijuana edibles are like the mob, OK? Approach cautiously and respectfully and it’s good to be a little scared of them. Dosage is everything, so read the packaging carefully before imbibing. Budtenders can help with this when you buy edibles. And give it some time! A good rule of thumb is to try 5mg of THC and wait 30-45 minutes before reassessing to see if you should take some more. You can always add on, but you can’t take away. Oh and don’t get high in class. You’ll just be thinking of who can tell the whole time, trust me. 

Your friend told you to come over and they will smoke you out. You haven’t seen them for a while but know they haven’t really been taking the virus seriously and have a bad habit of going to mass gatherings indoors. Which of these should you NOT do?

  1. Share a joint
  2. Smoke indoors in close proximity to your friend
  3. Let your friend cough in your face

Answer: Oh, come on, you know it’s all three. Stay outside and socially distanced if possible, cough away from others or into your elbow and bring your own pipe or rolling papers. It’s just common sense. 

Alright, that’s the boring shit out of the way. Now onto Potheadery 102. Which of these are good ideas to do after you’ve legally and safely obtained your high?

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Stop by a local head shop to get all your paraphernalia.
  1. Put on Dr. Dre’s “The Chronic”
  2. Order delivery from a local restaurant
  3. Watch YouTube and doodle
  4. Eat Cheetos and play video games

Answer: It’s all of them again! Avoid complex tasks like cooking, driving or navigating. Relax, be creative, engage with some form of art and let your worries go for a few hours. 

You’re ready! Here are Boulder’s recreational pot shops where you can get your cannabis: 

  • 14er Holistics, 2897 Mapleton Ave.
  • Boulder Botanics, 1750 30th St.
  • Boulder Wellness Center, 5420 Arapahoe Ave.
  • Drift, 1750 30th St., Unit 12
  • Elements Boulder, 1534 55th St.
  • The Farm, 2801 Iris Ave.
  • Fresh Baked Dispensary, 2539 Pearl St.
  • Green Dream Cannabis, 6700 Lookout Road, #5
  • Green Tree Medicinals, 5565 Arapahoe Ave., Suite G
  • The Green Room, 2750 Glenwood Dr.
  • The Growing Kitchen, 8401 Baseline Road
  • Helping Hands Dispensary, 1021 Pearl St.
  • The Honey Cellar, 5290 Arapahoe Ave.
  • Karing Kind, 5854 Rawhide Court
  • Magnolia Road, 1750 30th St.
  • MMJ America, 1909 Broadway
  • Native Roots, 1146 Pearl St.
  • The Station, 3005 28th St.
  • Terrapin Care Station, 1795 Folsom St., and 5370 Manhattan Circle, #104
  • Trill Alternatives, 1537 Pearl St.
  • Village Green Society, 2043 16th St.
Cliff Grassmick / Staff Photographer
The Fitter, a seller of pipes and clothing on The Hill, has a large selection of cannabis paraphernalia.

And here are head shops and pipe shops; Get your bongs, pokers, stash boxes and more:

  • Baba’s Pipe & Hookah, 1650 Broadway
  • Buddha’s & Goudha’s, 2009 13th St.
  • Crystal Dragon, 3330 Arapahoe Ave.
  • The Fitter, 1303 Broadway
  • Freaky’s Smoke Shop & Tattoo, 1135 Broadway
  • Illuzion Glass Galleries, 2740 Canyon Blvd.
  • Mile High Pipes & Tobacco, 1144 Pearl St.
  • Paradise Smokeshop, 1546 28th St.
  • Rocketman Boulder, 4461 Broadway
  • Wild Side, 1111 13th St.