Central Features Editor

Christy Fantz

Christy Fantz has been covering Boulder's features beat for 15 years. As a longtime columnist for the Colorado Daily and current features editor for Boulder County newspapers, Fantz enjoys temporarily rendering readers' jaws agape with a little love tase now and again. It keeps us young.

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If you expect a significant other to shave, then you should be expected of the same undertaking. Preconceived gender norms aside, if having a blade graze your genitals makes you hyperventilate, you can’t expect a lover to follow suit. 
Right before Christmas, we had to say goodbye to our Good Boy Clyde. A Saint Bernard mix, Clyde was the cutest, goofy-looking boy. One ear was always upright and the other always flopped over. His giant paws were four different sizes, making for a clumsy fellow who tripped over his own big feet. 
There’s this 22-year-old broad who spends her days unboxing children’s toys on YouTube. She’s worth $25 million. She reportedly hauls in an estimated revenue of nearly $30K per day from ads. I won’t divulge my annual salary, but it’s not far from her daily salary. And she plays with toys all day. 
My child and I express our love in exactly the same way. Our hearts and endorphins burst with so much fire and warmth that we are fierce and fast in sharing it with others. 
Do you see what you’ve done to us, #COwx? You make us exchange in small-talk pleasantries with other human beings. You're a real piece of work.
Almost a decade has passed since I met a suitor, got married, spit out a spawn and got divorced. I didn’t want to date after that; my wish was to shun relationships forever.