Under the Influence: Low expectations for the new year
This column is printed on Tuesdays, which means that by the time you read this, the New Year holiday will be over. As I write, it remains nothing more than...
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Under the Influence: It’s the most wearying time of the year
'Tis the season for curling up in a ball of overwhelming social anxiety, mounting credit card debt and complete exhaustion. For real, who is thriving right now? I want to...
Under the Influence: A not-so-smooth criminal
I jaywalked last week. My boss and I knowingly crossed against the light, and cop pulled up just as we got to the other side. My boss kept his head...
Under the Influence: Quinceañera for a quality canine
I have a dog named Puppy, though she is far from puppy-hood. In fact, a few weeks ago, we celebrated her quinceañera (why yes, I am single). As I often...
Under the Influence: Not voting is a choice of extreme privilege
Hey, did you get your flu shot? Are you tired of me telling you what to do? Well buckle up, buttercup, because I'm just getting started. This week, unsurprisingly, I'm...
Under the Influence: Go get a flu shot now
Oh, hi. Just your friendly neighborhood columnist here reminding you to get a flu shot. Seriously, get a flu shot. Go. Now. Stop reading, and get a flu shot. "But,...
Under the Influence: Pry my furnace from my cold, dead hands
Praise be, lord of crazy Colorado fall weather; my furnace still works. It was touch and go last spring, and I had no idea if it would start up again....
Under the Influence: Chasing after the college experience
Thankfully, we were sitting on the west side of Folsom Field. It was 95 degrees, and the spectators on the east side — the student side — were melting in...
Under the Influence: Matrimony has creepy history but bangin’ parties
I'm nearing the end of this year's wedding season, and possibly the end of "wedding season" as my early adult self knew it. I seem to have reached the age...
Under the Influence: Bridging the toilet seat divide
We all know of birds and bees, Mars and Venus, but I want to talk about the nuts and bolts of the gender gap. I want to talk about toilet...